This blog focuses on my fear of the creepy crawlies.
I live by a lake, pond, body of water…whatever, and because of this, we get a lot of gnats. You all know what gnats are. Those gross little flying creatures that attack your face. I usually spray Raid around my door because it helps keep the vicious creatures at bay, but because of the weather lately there have not been as many as usually, until about 2 days ago when they started coming back with a vengeance. This was absolutely horrible for me, as I came to the realization that the battle was going to have to start again. Me v/s the gnats. I think to myself, I am going to have to go to the store this weekend and pick up my most valuable weapon against these filthy creatures…RAID! Dunnndunndunnn. But until then, I would just have to make quick dives into my house and run like a small scared school girl on the way out. Sounds like a well thought out and reliable plan right….HA WRONG! Not a good plan at all. And you would think a college graduate who is working on their masters would have thought of a more in-depth plan, but let’s not go there.
I am coming home from a busy Wednesday night. I went to the gym after my 9 hr day of busy work, I had a dinner to go to, to celebrate the 6th day of Hanukkah at a friend’s house (although I am not Jewish, I still went, I figured it is good to know, understand and respect other’s beliefs.) and it was also another friends birthday, so I had to go over and make an appearance. Finally dragging myself home at 10 pm-ish, I am on the phone with my friend Dave, and I am wrestling with the keys to unlock my door to let Jake (my puppy)and myself in. Suddenly the enemy attacks! The bastard dive bombed my ear, causing me to fall into my house as I beat myself around the side of my head like a mad-woman for 10 min. The creature, feeling that I would destroy him if he came out took refuge deep within my ear canal. The phone no longer in my hand lay on the ground as I hear my friend asking me what was going on. My dog following me around the house still attached to his leash as I run screaming in circles. Finally realizing that the person on the other end of the phone is a medic, and my medical training stops at rubbing alcohol and band aids I picked up the phone and in a calm panic tried to explain that the enemy had attacked and was now building a fort inside my ear canal and most likely laying its young behind my eardrum. My friend, after laughing, asking me if I was imagining it and then laughing some more told me to go flush my ear out with water. So there I am, dog watching me like he no longer was responsible for my crazy actions as I stuck my head under the sink and turned the water on.
“It's not working! It’s not working” was all I could say as the water flowed into my ears. The buzzing of the enemies’ radio (wings to be exact) made it impossible to concentrate. Having a complete nervous breakdown, I tell my friend that I am going downstairs. Thankfully I live around a lot of nurses. I go and knock on my neighbor’s door and again in a calm panic, explained what had happened. She jumps up, realizing how gross it is to have a gnat in your ear, begins to flush my ear out with hot water, oil and peroxide. Once assuring the enemy was dead and unable to continue on his mission of eating into my brain in an attempt to control my actions, I relax….slightly, because a dead body was still in my ear. I go home, proceed to drink until I am calm and think that an early morning doctor’s visit is in order for the extract team to come in and remove the remains.
So that is my story….
I have not overcome my fear of insects….and I think a new one has thus been added to the list.
So after crying this story to my best friend she send me a picture.
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it's good to know that she cares so much about my well being and the accomplishment that I just achieved as I took on the evil enemy. Good thing I love her so
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