Jingle Bell 5K Jog 2013

I have the best running partner in the world who helps me train for all my races & encourages me to run every day no matter how I feel, even if it's just for a mile or two...my dog.

So for the last race of 2013, and since I missed the doggy 5K in April, I figured there was no better way to end the year then doing a run with my best friend & my mum to cheer us on. 

I must admit that my mum & I were a little hung over from our per-holiday lychee matinee night :-) but Jake was ready to go enough for all of us. 

I was so proud of my little man, he was focused & set off. We were doing really well, good pace (he was basically dragging my hungover ass)...until he got the call of the wild. Maybe he knew we were in a race or maybe it was a tactical move to hinder the eny behind us, but my man decided to take a dump...in the middle of the road. But instead of just doing one. He tried to keep running, leaving small, let's call them land mines, across the road.

Nice work partner, that will slow them down. 

After that he must have gotten his second wind, because he picked it up. 

I can't quite explain the look of anger & frustration on peoples face as my happy go lucky dog goes bounding past them without a second thought. 

My boy kicked ass and we managed to still pull into 5th place in my age group. And the sad thing, that boy was ready for round 2 in no time. 

This race brought me to a whooping total of 22, just shy of my goal of 24.

The Lane Change Game

So I have decided. Although the un-uses of a blinker irritates me. I have come to the conclusion that it is in fact a tactical movement to not use them.

In South Florida (and I am sure many other places) when signaling you are going to get over a lane does not actually make it easier for you to change lanes.

Instead it alerts the person in the lane that you are attempting to get into & in front of about your plan. Which just causes them to speed up to ensure you cannot get over leaving you trapped in your current lane.

So see, if you hadn't told them of your plan, you would be happily in your lane instead of passing your exit & getting pissed. Just saying...it's all about aggressive tactical driving abs not being just being a dick driver.

Morning Radio "News"??

On my morning commute, I normal listen to npr, but this morning I was feeling a little drowsy, so when they started talking about research on sleep patterns I though maybe I would change the station, listen to some music, wake myself up. Switching over to The Beat (a local hip hop station) I land on a segment about celebrity rumors. Not my thing, but I figured it wouldn't make me spend my ride to work thinking about my bed & sleeping.

It spent time telling me how Khloe & Lamar had split up and how Khloe had moved on to a baseball played.

OK, not sure how this information is relevant to me in anyway...heck all I wanted was some upbeat music to wake me up during my morning commute...

Then suddenly I hear them saying how Khloe is a smart hoe & it's a new trend for hoe's to get smart & hook up w/ baseball players because they have guaranteed contracts (aka lots of money), and some woman (I don't know who) was smart for getting knocked up by a baseball player & getting him on lock down or whatever. I learnt that women are now all gold diggers, they just date these men for their money & apparently women should be proud of that fact....oh wait, sorry, us hoes should be proud & those hoes not in that position should aspire to be. 

What the hell am I listening to?!!!? Really...so in the less then five min I was on this station, women were referred to as hoe's. Any woman dating an athlete is a hoe. Basically I'm getting all women are hoes. Getting knocked up by a baseball player is smarter then any other athlete...and I just can't say how many things were wrong w/ that short segment I just listened to. 

I switched back to NPR. Listening to research on a sleep study beats the hell outta listening to a generalization about women = hoes & gold diggers. 

And I'm glad I did, the sleep segment was very interesting. 

Weston Half Marathon - AKA The Run of Death

I should have known better that after coming back from the blinding cold of England to the warm perfection on South Florida I would get sick...but with my normal voracity, I though I was invincible, until I fell victim to the full, just in time for my Half Marathon...AKA...The Run of Death!

Now doing a 5K feeling a little stuffy, but doing a Half Marathon (13.1 grueling miles) with a full blown flu with nauseous, fever, dizziness the works is beyond a lot worse.

From the time I got home Friday night until the time I woke up for the race Sunday morning, I left my bed for food and bathroom...nothing more. Saturday night I felt so horrible that I spent have the night curled up on the bathroom flood debating if I was going to even live to see the morning.

When my alarm finally went off Sunday I wanted to die, but I dragged my sorry ass outta bed and to the race. I down a few more then the suggested daily intake of some Tylenol cold and flu (the good stuff from behind the counter, not that cheap imitation stuff they try to pawn off on you from shelf), told myself it was only 2 hours....then I could go back to bed and die. Plus, I didn't die last night so I was good right...WRONG!

I meet up with my friend at the race & I know I will go faster then her (if only by a little), so if all else fails she will see me dead on the road and be able to alert my loved ones.

The race starts and the meds have kicked in by this time so I am actually off to a good start. 8:39 min miles...not to shabby I tell myself, I am not dying after all...I can do this right...but 8:39 min miles turns into 9:36 min miles and by mile 8 I have convinced myself that gods themselves are going to come down off Olympus and mock me as I fall dehydrated and dry-heaving to the ground to be trampled under the feet of real runners and walkers who are now passing me as I jog pathetically along at 10:36 min miles.

How much worse can it get I tell myself. The sun is beating down on my deprecated body and I struggle with each breath as the dry heat sucks the air from me. Sure death is standing just up ahead ready to cut my down with his scythe, I struggle on.

**After the race, I find out that the conditions were some of the worse for a race and the humidity etc had taken many races down**

Convinced I have passed the point of no return into delirium I begin to notice others around me. We pass a Firehouse and a very fit couple turn off the course and run up to the station flagging down one of the firefighters. I see more than normal police on bikes riding by and many times with people on the back of them. Convinced I am hallucinating I lean again a pole trying to get the world to stop spinning. I know my body just wants to rest, but having just passed mile 11, how can I give up now.

A police officer scares me half to death and awakes me from what I believe may have been me falling into death asks me if I am OK. Sucking it up, I tell him I was just catching my breath and I push myself back up right...as I seemed to have slid down the pole slightly and set off again...at what I have decided we will call a fast walk....2 more miles until I can collapse.

Just 2 more miles...and dear god where they the longest 2 miles of my running life!

Mile 12 - 11:43 min and Mile 13 - 12:13 min

If it hadn't been for this guy running along next to me, I may have just crawled to the finish line. But he ran up next to me and ran with me for the last 1.5 miles...well more like speed walked, but at this point in time, I am not going to pick and choose what I call it. In my mind at that moment I was just pleased to be moving.

Crossing that finish line was the biggest accomplishment ever. I think I had sweat out every last bit of flu. I drank 4 bottles of water and pretty sure I pushed a little kid out of the way to get more.

That was truly The Run of Death! But I overcome it and defeated it! :) Take that B!Tche$!!!

Tonbridge U.K. 5K - AKA The Run of the Ice Age

While on vacation in the UK (attending the Doctor Who 50th Celebration & visiting family), I decided it would be fun to sign up & do a 5K. You know, different weather, different terrain, why not, I can't do all my running on Florida flats forever. Hell our idea of a hill is over a bridge!!

So after some looking around I came across this site, ParkRun.org. They offer weekly FREE 5Ks all over Great Britain! 

*Can I just say, why the hell don't we offer that in the US? Free weekly runs would be awesome!*

I find a local one near my Uncle, I send him a quick email to make sure he'd be available to take me and I sign up...ready for my first run outside the U.S.

We land in England & for a girl who has spent the last 5 years in Florida where it doesn't get below 50 year round I almost died walking off that plane! Now I have lived in upstate NY, the Mountains of VA & the wasteland of STL MO, but being in S. FL has spoiled me!! I remembered in theory what cold was, but my body had forgotten! 

I did try to run almost every day of my trip. I even managed to get a 2 mile run done in the middle of London (Kings Cross) which I'm sure caused a few people to look. But once we got to my families (Burgess Hill) I found a nice 5 like route that even passed by a park so I could do push ups, jumping jacks, Burpees, squats etc. being on vacation is no reason to get lazy.

So race day finally rolled around I was pretty sure I was ready to do this. I didn't expect a PR, but I was confident I would do OK. I'd talked my cousin Kim into doing it with me. One of the real nice things...the race started at 9:30 am, so no 5 am wake up call. But it was cold & wet & muddy!!! And I was decked out in a long sleeve rash guard and long runner compression pants (Skins - love them) and everyone around me was in shorts and shirts. Were they mad? Was I mad? What was going on here, because it was cold...like COLD! I wasn't a complete mad hatter as my cousin also had cold weather running apparel on, but dear god these other people, completely loons if you ask me!

The race started off fine. Only a 5K quick and dirty full on run it out race, but about a mile in this Florida girl started to feel it.

First my noes & fingers went. No worries, you don't need that to run. 

Then my toes stated to numb and the little voice inside my head asking why I was running in sub zero temperatures started to get louder and louder until she was SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER AT ME. By the time I hit the turn to circle back every breath I took racked the back of my throat & in pure agony. I was terrified to spit encase I'd see blood! Yes that's right, I'd convinced myself that the cold air had ripped apart my insides & I swore I could taste the blood trickling down my throat into my esophagus and down to my tummy.

But that wasn't the worst. Besides being 85% sure at least one toe had fallen off  if not two, I could no longer feel my legs. At any moment I was going to topple forward, over roll over, & see my legs burying themselves under some dead leaves for warmth. I kept checking to not only make sure they were still there but also still moving & not just bricks of ice.

WELL YOU BETTER PICK IT UP NOW YOU MORON the voice inside my head kept screaming at me and all I could do was respond with, "I can't pick it up, I only have 9 toes and am losing blood at what I am sure is a very disturbing rate inside my mouth!"

Pushing myself forward I knew I was almost there, and crossing the finish line I wanted to just keep running to a car...with the heat on full blast...and just sit in it, never to emerge again!

But I did well, I actually managed to come in 2nd Female and 1st in my age group. No prizes or medals or anything, but the fact that when I did take off my shoes and check I had all 10 toes was prize enough.

I love the fact that I did a race outside the U.S. and I hope to do many more all over the world, but I will have to remember that not everywhere has weather like we do in South Florida! 

Classic Chloé Moments - Me v/s TV

I seem spend my life on the go go go. I never seem to stop moving, so last night when I finally had a plan free evening to relax w/ Jakearoni & my TV I was stocked! 

Saturday had been a long day for me already, I was up at 6 am for the Fight for Air 5K (which I crushed btw) then it was off to work. Did a little BJJ training, then taught kickboxing, Dim Sum w/ my friend...let's just say I needed a "do nothing" evening.

I got a bottle of mid-grade Pinot Noir (I'm a broke girl), cooked up a delicious chicken dinner & sank into my couch of lost hope. I flipped on the TV & started catching up on my way too full DVR, shows going back 2-3 weeks, it was gonna be a good night. 

But you know me, I can't sit still for too long before the box of Halloween decorations that I pulled out of the closet earlier was starting to stare at me. So after failing to ignore it, I got up and figured I would just set up a few of the decoration around the house...get the season started. 

After about an hour...somehow the decorations led to sweeping and moping the floor, dusting everything in sight and of course cleaning up all the dishes, I was feeling done & grabbed my now second glass of wine and sat back down. 

Suddenly my AT&T remote wasn't working. 

WTF!? Did I somehow un-program it while in my cleaning frenzy? OK, no problem...I go to the remote setup. Manual..input all the codes...volume still not working. Odd. I try the automatic remote setup...volume still not working. Curious. I tried all the codes again...volume still not working. Bizzar. I look at the remote...it's an S4, set up says it is for a S1 thur S3 series, so I Google it...maybe I'm missing something. Nope, S4 series is also like S1-S3. So I try the automatic set up again. Nada. Seriously. I try the codes yet a-fucking-gain...volume still not working. 

By this time, I'm starting to get pissed. Are the batteries dying? Is this new remote ATT sent 2 weeks ago already jacked up (my last one finally died and I had to replace it)? Is my TV evil? Does God hate me!!!???

So I change the batteries...nothing. 
Starting to convince myself that I am just missing something obvious, I grab the TV remote...& this is where things get twisted...the TV remote is also not working. What The Hell Is Going On!!!??? I never use the TV remote...batteries are fresh in BOTH remotes. Yup I am going mad.

Well my night has gone from relaxing to frustrating. I can still stop, pause, fast forward, view recordings, turn the TV on & off...screw it. My second glass of wine quickly turns into a third as I get more and more obsessed with this freaking remote. I can't relax, it is just driving me crazy, why is the volume not working. I worked an hour ago. 

Knowing that I am working myself towards a psychotic break, I force myself to give up. I don't know, maybe it will randomly start working again tomorrow. I find the volume on the actual TV, adjust it & after an HOUR AND HALF of messing with it. I just watch TV. By now it's 10:30 & I'm falling asleep on the couch so I sleep walk myself to bed. Plus, I can't stop thinking about the dame remote!

This morning after my run I sit on the couch to enjoy my tea & watch some news before heading to the gym. 

The volume is STILL NOT WORKING. As I quickly dust around my TV (yes, I like things clean..so what) something hits me...I put a Halloween decoration right in front if the center of the TV. A foam zombie zone sign...could that be blocking the censor? 

Test...yup..facepalm. IDIOT! 

Classic Chloe! 

My Office Workout

I don't know about many of you, but I sit at a desk all day...like ALL DAY log. 9 hours a day and it drives me bonkers.

I use to go to the gym at work during lunch, however since they implemented a policy at our company that after 3 late punch ins (we have to punch in and out on our computers everyday) you are either suspended a day without pay or fired (depending on your boss) I decided not to risk it.

New Young Single Homeowner and all, I would rather not lose a day without pay because I was waiting for someone to get out of the shower after my workout one day. That is just how our company is...so because I can't get a mini workout at the gym during lunch anymore, I had to find a new way to workout, because if I don't at least get some little workout during the day, I will go bat crazy!

So this is what I do, I am not sure what one would call this...so lets just call it a quick desk workout. it is just something that I can do so I don't feel like I am getting fat and help pass the time before I can go workout and train!  :)

Leg Lifts: 
I know it sounds silly, but just kicking back your chair and lifting one leg, fully extending the knee up and down. Do about 20-30 on each side.

Chair Planks:
I sit cross legged at my desk with my feet tucked under me...Indian style, and a lot of times I have to readjust one leg or another. So when i go to move. I put both my hands on the arm rests and lift up. tighten your core and hold that position for about 30 seconds and then slowly lower myself down.Repeat this 3-5 times.

Chair Push-ups:
From the same cross legged sitting position, I do push-ups. I put my hands on the arm rests and lift myself up and lower myself back to the chair. Do this 10 times, rest for about 30 seconds and then repeat. Do this about 3-5 times.

Counter Dips:

If you have a file cabinet, counter, or even the edge of your desk works. I use my file cabinet (freaks out co-workers when they walk by and catch a glace of me). Sit on the cabinet and put your hands on either side of you, fingers out, holding the edge. Extend your legs out and bring your butt off the cabinet. Slowly dip down till your elbows are even with your shoulders and then push back up. Do this 10 times, rest for about 30 seconds and then repeat. Do this about 3-5 times.

Squats:
You can do these anywhere and your office is no exception. Sand up and lower into a squat position, betting your butt as low to the grown as possible while keeping your back straight. Do this 10 times, rest for about 30 seconds and then repeat. Do this about 3-5 times.

Seated Reverse Crunches:
Go to the edge of your chair, put your hands on the armrests and push yourself off. Squeeze your knees together and bring them in towards your chest and hold for a breath and then slowly lower your legs back down. Do this 5 times, rest for about 30 seconds and then repeat. Do this about 3-5 times.

Lunges:
This may not be something that you can do in your office, but if you have 1 min and can close the door this is a great one to add in. Even if you do it quickly in the supply closet or something. bend one leg placing the knee directly over the ankle and move the other leg back, go down bending and extending your front bent knee lunging forward. Do about 30 seconds on each side (or 30 lunges on each side)

As you do these little exercises more and more, you will get stronger and can add on or extend the time. But just because you can't be at the gym or training, doesn't mean being trapped in an office all days is a reason to not get a little quick workout in.  Remember working out is the best way to stay healthy and extend your life :)

Handywoman I am Not

Nothing like sitting watching TV in your living room when the overhead light suddenly goes out. 

Saved by the light glow from the TV, I carefully navigate to the closet to retrieve a new light bulb. Carrying the step-stool in one hand, light bulb in the other & a screwdriver in my mouth, I am proud to report that I only step on 2 dog  bones on my way back. 

I put the stool down, put on the kitchen light, fat lotta good that did as it only illuminates the kitchen sending no light around the corner to the living room where I am trapped in darkness. 

Realizing that this is going to be a blind mission, I head up the stool. I unscrew the glass dome around the light...change it, feeling much like a handywoman only to be rewarded with continuous darkness. 

Back and forth I go, light bulb, switch, switch, light bulb, am I missing something...5 min pass light, switch, switch, light....Check the fuse box...they all seem to be switched on. try a new light bulb, switch, light bulb, switch, new light bulb switch, fuse box again, switch again,...fuck, it's gadda be the wiring in the overhead ceiling fan. I believe I will need a new one. 

Fuck it, after the AC ordeal this week, I'm beyond stressed & tired & drained!!! I'm pouring a glass of wine & watching family guy in the dark! Screw it, I will just get a new bloody fan when the weekend (and payday) rolls around.

Off to work the next day, I leave my roommate with a note saying that something is wrong with the ceiling fan and I will get a new one this weekend. I spend the entire day venting about how frustrated I am that the stupid light when out and how I not only changed the light bulb and it didn't work, but I tried an entire box of light bulbs...so logical conclusion...it is the fan. 

I look on Lowe's and The Home Depot, getting prices for fans and budgeting out how much I have left after my AC leaked all over the place and I had to get someone in to do apparently what should be done yearly. Not much left in the bank, but I can't spend the next month in darkness ever time I am home. 

So Friday night finally rolls around and I plan to go tomorrow after training to The Home Depot, I figured out what one I was going to get and it was on sale and I was just going to bite the bullet and do without the luxury of extra food for the next week. 

A few friends come over for a Friday night nightcap and I am still on and on about this bloody ceiling fan and how frustrated I am at the whole situation, in between laughs one of my friends says, well did you try switching the fuse off and then on again.

Stunned that this is really an option obviously I had not. My friend goes to the fuse box, turns the switch off and then back on again and miraculously the light shines bright! Seriously, did I just sit in the dark for pretty much a week because of this. DEAR GOD, sometimes I swear I am a blond trapped in a brunettes body! How did no one think to suggest this to me before? 

Sometimes I wonder how I manage to even get dressed in the morning. So after this week, I realized Handywoman I am not...but I kinda already knew that one.  

How Young Do You Like Them??

So I'm at Dick's a week or so ago, picking up a "rash guard" and a guy browsing the shirts near me strikes up a conversation by asking if I'm shopping for my boyfriend. 

Smooth buddy...smooth. 

Being oblivious & kinda in a rush...training starts in 30 min. I tell him no, it's for me. He kinda follows me around, not super stalker like or anything, just chatting. Asking, what the shirt is for? How often do I workout? Where do I workout at? Just normal questions. 

I answer, he looks in his mid-30s, kinda fit & not that bad looking. But once I find what I need, I say bye and head to the checkout line. 

He follows me up.

"Sorry, I didn't get your name", he says 

"It's Chloe"

"How old are you Chloe?"

"30"

"Damn?! Really? I though you were younger"

Feeling flattered cuz every girl likes to be told they look younger then they are, I laugh & smile. 

"You're kinda old" he follows with.

I look at him. Did I mis-judge his age. Dude has to be in his 30s. He was kinda chatting me up 10 seconds ago. Did I miss something? 

"Why how old are you?" I ask

"35"

OK. Unsure of how to respond, I apologize, yes, seriously, I apologized & walked up to the register. I saw him again walking to my car, he didn't even look my way. 

Went from being hit on to being told I was to old in T Minus 5 seconds. 

WOW. Must say, that's a first for me. Guess he likes them young & ripe. 

Haha, being single never stops being interesting. 

The Resume Man

Dating in South Florida is hard and frustrating and sometimes...well most of the time these days, I am beginning to wonder if it is even worth it.

I meet guys in different places, out when I am on a run, at a race, at the dog park, etc....

Well about two months back I meet this guy at the park. I was running with my dog and we got to chatting when I stopped for water. He seemed normal enough and we chatted for a while. But it was getting hot and although the guy asked me if I wanted to go grab a coffee and keep talking, I wanted to:

A) Get home and give Jake something to eat, water and get him into the AC
B) Get a shower...I am dripping in sweat, its South Florida summer fools...sweat is running down my ass crack
C) What if he is crazy...do I really want to go have coffee with a crazy dude...need to weed out the crazy first

So I say no and I figure the best way to see if anything might spark is to give him my number. I tell him to text me sometime. I figure, we meet at a park so he has to be kinda into active things and maybe we have some stuff in common.

Well before I even get out of the park...guy is texting me. This may seem cute to some girls, but to me...we just spoke. I said text me sometime, not as soon as I drive away. --> FLAG 1

Whatever, I get home and showered, did what I needed to do and by the time I did respond (about 2 hours later), I had 4 or 5  more additional txt from him. He asked me what took so long, and told me that he was wondering what was going on. --> FLAG 2

Over the next week or so we text back and forth. As we get to talking I find out the so-called job he was telling me about was his OLD job and he is currently unemployed and has been for awhile now. OK, not the best, but I understand that the economy is in the crapper and jobs are sometimes hard to come by...but still. --> FLAG 3

Now the more he texts me the more I start to realize that running into him at the park was a fluke and that it was probably the first time he had even been to a park in years. He was there with some friend for a bbq or something. Whatever, I am a pretty active person so obviously I want to date someone who is active as well. When he starts asking me why I go to the gym everyday and telling me the last time he went was over a year ago...I start to wonder...maybe this isn't a good fit. --> FLAG 4

Next he owns a purse dog. I know, I know. men can own small weak yappy purse dogs. Hell Jake's bark is so girly it is embarrassing but he is still a 40lb mutt who is strong a hell and tough as nails! Boy runs 7 miles with me and can drag me down the road no problem. So a man with a dog smaller than my shoe...for me personally it is a turn off. --> FLAG 5

By flag number 5 in as many days...I decide...NOPE, rather not bother going down this road, should just say something before it goes any father.

So I give him a heads up. I tell him...in a nicer way, that  I don't think we would be much of a match considering his favorite pass time is sitting on the couch watching Dorito's, not looking for a new job while watching TV and mine is hitting the gym for a few hours every day and racing on the weekends. He said he still wanted to take me out to dinner and that I should give him a chance. Whatever...his choice, I said my peace.

So anyway....I got really busy with training and didn't respond for about 2 days, when I suddenly got a text saying.

"Hey Chloe Foster how have you been? Nice Facebook Picture, You are as pretty as I remember."

What...ummm...WTF...

I never told him my last name...did he just seriously just looked me up on Facebook --> YES all my privacy setting are up and pretty much you can't see shit unless we are friends...and I only friend people I KNOW, but I think if you are going to stalk someone on facebook (and other social media) you shouldn't tell them about it when you don't really know them yet. Stalk in a sneaky way, don't blare that crap out there.

I told him it was a little creepy and it kinda wigged me out.

He said he wasn't creepy and to prove it to me he proceeded to TEXT me a complete copy of his Resume...

Really...now that just got even creepier. I have never had a guy send me a copy of his Resume to prove to me that he was not creepy. I have never had a guy offer to show me his resume...what the hell does a resume have to do with if you are a creepster or not!? Seriously! Whatever...maybe I am just a complete bitch.

I told him that I would rather we end it and not take things farther....I didn't think we were a match anyway. He asked if we could be friends, and me being the anti-social person that I am passed on that options as well.

He has proceeded to text me at least 2 times a week since then...to this day. Just either with
"Hi" or "Are you still bothered by that" or "Can we be friends yet" or "How are you & Jake doing"

I never respond...don't need to lead him on...and it has been over 2 months.

Oh well, guess that wasn't romance in S. Florida...I am still on the "hunt" for a good many in this backasswards place. Maybe next time...but I I doubt it.

The 10th Annual Firefighter's 5K

This weekend, my girl and I did our 2nd race of the season, the Firefighters 5K.  After last weeks hill run and an insane week of training...I am sore...like SORE. I think my trainer is trying to kill me, but that is another blog for another time.

Usually when I go to races, I look like I just rolled out of bed...because I have. I roll out of bed, into cloths and off I go. However, my friend (who has her own make-up line) was practicing on me the day before and guys...I don't know if I can explain it to you, but she made me look so beautiful...I couldn't wash it all off. I left it on. LOL :) So I rolled up to the race looking like one sexy chick and then I proceed to CRUSH the race! LOL.

The run went along Hollywood beach, up into the neighborhoods and back around. I have run it a few times before (doing the whole boardwalk and neighborhoods not just part just on Sunday lazy days. ) and it really is a great run. But this time there was something different.

As we turn off the main boardwalk and head back into the neighborhoods, the trees start to in close in around us and suddenly you hear cats howling and fighting in the distance. The road shadows over and the sun disappears. "Ahhh, it will be nice and cool for a while" I  think to myself, but something strange is in the trees.  Everyone in front of me is looking up, so being the sheep when I run that I am look up as well and I feel the blood drain from my face and fall like lead into my feet. I start screaming at myself in my head...."Dear Mother of F'en God Run...Just RUN!!! As Fast as You Bloody Can".

Hundreds of what I now know are Banana Spiders had set up shop at the tops of the trees, stretching their webs from one side of the road to the other creating a canopy of GIANT SPIDERS!

no I hate spiders, like ice on my soul, death comes to quickly as they plot to weave me into a giant cocoon and feed me to their zillions of children...and above me was Satan's hell for me on earth.

My mind is screaming "GO FASTER You Dumb Bitch! FASTER, before they lasso you up to the canopy with their steel webs!"
My body is screaming "I CAN'T any Faster!? I think Her heart stopped...pretty sure she is in Shock! And the Dumb Bitches Feet kidnapped all the blood and they ain't giving it back!"
My feet are responding to the rest of my body with "You bitch now, but when one of those demon spiders spots us and tries to take us up into its web of death, you will be happy we have become lead weights!"

And then there is me...slowly turning around as I run forwards to where I am actually running backwards (going the right direction still, but my entire body is facing the other way and I am starring up into the sky screaming like a mad woman inside my head....coming up with ever different outcome of my death by giant spider.

Finally I circle back and start heading back out towards the boardwalk, I remain vigilant, waiting for the spiders to start attacking my fellow runners. I think to myself...must conserve my energy, because if they start warfear on us by dropping down on our heads. I must be ready. Looking around I spot 2 weaker looking woman a few feet behind me. I slow down so they can catch up, make no mistake folks, I will toss both them chicks to the spiders as a distracting while I try to get away.

However, no such sacrifice is needed as I hit the boardwalk. I realize that I have been holding my breath for most likely the entire time (locally really considering I didn't want to draw the evil spiders attention to me). I breath deep and start to sprint again....leaving the ally of pure venom behind me.

Now I focus back on the race...Shit...did I slow down to much and screw up my time. I hope now. I barrel towards the finish line. Both of the sacrificial lambs are still on my tail...time to lose them. I pick it up and give it that extra burst of energy I was saving in case a quick escape was needed from the Giant Spider attack and I finish strong. Breathing heavy for a change :)

Not only did I survive the Spider Apocalypse, but I managed to place and for the first time ever, I got a trophy! Not just a medal. I came in 2nd with a time of 23:17. Not my best time ever, but better than last week and not a bad time either way. And lets not forget...I was looking SEXY!

This was my 17 race of the year and one closer to my goal of 24!

The next race we are doing is the Miami Children's Hospital 5K. It will be one of our last races in Miami (basically anything farther than Amelia Park), getting up and driving the 35-45 min down there for a 23 min race isn't worth it. We have enough closer to home. So after a little discussing...if we haven't already signed up for it, we won't be doing it. Miami is just to far.  I know I have the ING and the Miami Beach, but beyond that...I think this will be the last 5K.

The Life of a Single Fit Girl

I don't really date much, not that I don't want to and cannot, but S. FL is full of guys that will say whatever they need to just to get into your pants, then proceed to be shocked that you felt lead-on or whatever. And considering my luck with guys in the past even when I do try (let's just say ZERO winners in my past) I don't bother. I don't have the time, energy or patients to deal with it anymore. 

Well the news of my singleness for over a year now has managed to get around a company full of people that I don't really talk to in general and definitely don't talk to about my personal life. 

Some have asked me out, others have asked why, a few offered to set me up, I even have one gentleman who often tells me he is praying for me to find a boyfriend so I don't have to be alone anymore...Oh joy! Just what I want. Lol. 

Anyway, this often leads to interesting comments, questions and discussions that I would honestly rather not be involved in. The latest conversations was a prime example: 

Co-worker asked: are a lot of guys too intimidated to ask you out? 

Me: umm, IDK, why?

Co-worker: cuz you're big, like your arms. they are almost the size as mine, but just more cut. 

Me: haha. Umm maybe, they don't ask me out. I don't really know.

Co-worker: so you wouldn't date a couch potato that has a beer gut. 

Me: umm, we wouldn't really have much in common, so probably not.

Co-worker: what if he had a really nice personality.

Me: but I focus a lot of my life on fitness, i'd want him to like that kinda stuff to so we could do some of it together. 

Co-worker: so you only date bodybuilder type big guys

Me: god no! Guys with my build.

Co-worker: oh ok. So now that you are all in shape & stuff, why do you keep working out? 

Me: really? 

Co-worker: yeah, are you ever gonna stop?

Me: No, I really enjoy working out & I wouldn't keep this body if I stopped exercising. 

Co-worker: oh ok. 

I'd think he was hitting on my but he's married, wife & kids. But so strange. Although, this is the same guy that said I look and dress like a dude a few months back. 

King of the Hill 5K - 2013

Running Season is finally back.

I don't know about many other places, but running from June through Aug is S. FL is horrible, just horrible. Even if you get up at 7 am and hit the road, sweat is running down your ass crack before you even hit the end of the block. You are looking up at the sky thinking to yourself, dear god do I really love running this much to endure the sun beating down on me for another hour slowly dehydrating my body and turning me in to a walking mummy that will most likely disintegrate and crumble into dust around mile 8, the answer...no. So even though there are still some races...there are not a lot.

Running season here is basically Sept 1 - May 31.

This year, we started the season off again with the King of the Hill 5K...again!

Now Florida is flat...since we are at sea level and don't run many hills around here, starting the season off with a hill run (even if it is an old land fill that they turned into a park) is a rough.


My goal was to finish this bitch without collapsing halfway up the hill sobbing uncontrollably as I curled up in the fetal position and begged for my mummy. Hell, besides my casual jogs with Jake, I hadn't RUN myself in about 2 months more than just 2-3 miles at a time....this was going to be brutal.

A group of about 4 of us signed up for the torture, amazing how badly humans seek out pain and suffering upon themselves.

The race started on time, which was a blessing because as I am standing at the start line, I can feel the sun and heat coming up and peeking over the tree line. The race starts and I feel good, knockout the first hill like a boss and proceed to pass people. Some slow bitch was jog/walking and I ran into her almost knocking her over...

**Side Note - DEAR GOD PEOPLE! If you are at a race, be it 5k or full marathon, and you plan on walking and chatting with your girlfriends while you pose for pictures...GET THE FUCK TO THE BACK OF THE LINE! For F sake, what do you think...you are going to walk a 6 min mile! NO BITCH! and you may not be competative, these races are competitive so GTF out of the way and take your walking ass to the back of the line so you don't get knocked over and then run over by a crap tone of competitive runners who are trying to get a new PR...just saying**

So anywho...after almost taking down a walker, I finally find my pace again and go...I am doing pretty well and start to think to myself...hey, not to shabby, I have already KO'ed 2 of the 4 hills, I can do this and maybe even get a pretty damn good time....until we circle around and I see the beginning of the 3rd hill. Its so nice of them to set it up that you run past the hill, have a half mile to think about it before circling back around to face it head on. So I spent the next 4 min thinking to myself...ugh, that hill, I remember that hill! Last year that hill almost killed me. (I was having so many issues with my heart rate going way to high and causing my chest to hurt that I almost didn't make it...problem solved with that by the way....no more unhealthy heart issues.)

When I got to the bottom of the hill, I looked up and surveyed my next challenge...this year. I was not going to let this hill kick my ass. I watched as runner after runner slowed down to a near walk as they scrabbled up the hill. Screw this I told myself and I started up. I will not slow down I told myself....High Knees High Knees. Breath Breath, get to the top of this thing....AGHHHHHH!
BAM...crushed it...kinda :)

However at the top, everyone was heading up over the top of the hill, through some grass and gravel and down the side of it...for some reason we were getting off the road. Different then last year, but heck...I guess I am a sheep. And apparently so is everyone else....we all go off track...but not like we are going to turn around now. We plowed through and to the finish line.

Although I didn't get a great PR and although I lost 2 min off my time over the summer....it was a hill run and I managed to slid into 2nd place. Actually it was a tie. We both came in 24:00, however my gun time was 24:07...she crossed the start line :07 before me. But whatever, I finished and I didn't die, I didn't give up and I didn't stop! WHOOHOO!!!

My next race is the Firefighters 5K next Sunday along Hollywood Beach, I am looking forward to it. hope I can get my time back down...I don't expect it to be where it was yet...but closer would be nice.

This was race number 16 of 2013 I will get to my goal of 24 for 2012 yet! :)

How to Lose My Attention in 3...2...1

So I'm walking Jake, and I run into a kinda attractive guy out walking his 4 month old puppy. Cute puppy. 

We strike up a conversation, he's "flirting" a little. I'm not really interested in dating another guy (they are all basically on my shit list since the last one) but I don't mind a little eye candy...and I may not be hateful forever. 

He walks w/ us as Jake tries to befriend his terrified puppy. We chat until we get to his place. 

His gate is open & I see a sparing dummy in his patio. I think maybe...he's worth getting to know just a bit more.

Enthusiastically I say, "Do you spar"

"What?" He replies

"Do you box" I repeat

"Hu" he responds

"You have a sparring dummy, do you fight?" I ask...slowly realizing he has no idea what I'm talking about.

"A what?" He asks

"That" I say impatiently, pointing at the sparring dummy

"Oh, is that what that is, that's my body guard"....and 3...2...1...

I have an urge to go back to his place and ask him if I can have it...because he's wasting a perfectly good sparring dummy. 

Sadly, I found it kinda annoying and completely turned off by his lack of knowledge. Maybe I'm just too picky :-) 

The Dreaded "Fly Down"

Because I workout a lot, I always try to stay hydrated & thanks to drinking a million oz of water a day...I spend a lot of time running back and forth to the restroom. I'm pretty sure my co-workers think I have some kinda problem. 

Today, on my regular hourly restroom visit...I rush down the hall, jog into the bathroom & do my business. I browse my phone for a few min & get in some good old social media & web surfing time. 

Then I wash up & exit per usual. I head back to my office to pick up my now empty water bottle & teacup to make my rounds & refill. 

I wonder out into the hangar to get ice, stopping by the front desk & line service area on the way. I then wonder over to the water fountain & fill up as I gaze headlong into the distance watching customers & on my way back to my office I get more tea. Ppl stop by my office & joke...but it's not until 40 min later (right b4 my next urgent bathroom break) that I realize!!! 

Damn!!! My bloody FLY IS DOWN!!! I was just walking around, flashing everyone my cheetah underwear!!! NOOOO, not my 80s animal kinky sexy underwear!

My fellow co-workers did not need to know that I'm all porn star under this business attire!

The business world & midnight stripper worlds collide. 

*Bad, you dirty dirty girl!!!*

10K Trail Run

It is important to run on different terrains besides the road all the time, and living in South Florida where it is just flat is makes it pretty hard. So about 4-5 times a year I try to do a trail run, and of course after the fiasco with the Spartan Race this year I want to do some training to help me prepare for next year.

So I talked a few of my friends into sign up to do the Amelia Bike Trails. Me and one of my friends did the 10K and my other friend did the 5K. 

Let me just say that June-Aug in South Florida is BRUTAL it is so humid and hot all summer long that there is a reason people don't spend the summers down here. We got up at 6 am to head down and it was already hot outside. I didn't even have to start running, just walk outside, to start sweating! So I knew that the trails where going to be hard.

I decided to do the 10K instead of the 5K for a few reasons. 
A) I want to increase my distance
B) I do 5Ks all the time and wanted a challenge
C) I have 5 half marathons coming up over the fall and winter and I am going to need it
D) Help me prepare to do even better in the Spartan Race next year

The first half (5K) was pretty easy. I actually nailed it but about half way through the last 2.7 miles was horrible. I felt my body just telling me now. Every time I had to climb a hill or go around, it was horrible and my little ankles were starting to ache. Mentally I also felt myself give up, I started thinking about things that I shouldn't have and felt myself not only giving up on running, winning, pushing myself but everything. I let myself think about something enough to upset me and my eyes even started to water up, I just wanted to curl up, give up and cry. My heartache definitely affected me.

But its not like you can just stop in the middle of a race and curl up and die from heartache, altough if I could have I would have, so I kept going. I was almost walking at the end as I sobbed...but I managed to finish and pull myself together. I completed the 10K (which was actually 6.77 miles) and managed to somehow come in 2nd! Surprise.

So all 3 of us managed to place that day, despite my emotional breakdown.

 We took: 1st in the Male 10K, 2nd in the Female 10K and 2nd in the Female 5K!!! 

I have had that happen to me once before, September 2012. I did a 5K in almost 40 minutes becasue I was crying so hard thanks to men. It makes me so mad that any man can have that much control over me.  Admittedly last time it was the DAY of the...I am breaking up with you because I want to sleep with someone else. This time it was over a month later after the...here are pictures of me kissing another girl for you and all our friends to see posted on Facebook. I should be over it by now...but I am not (obviously) and I don't think I will be for a while.

Anyway. I think I want to do another one of the trail runs, and I want to do the 10K again. I want to beat my time and maybe not have an emotional breakdown this time around.

This is also Race #16 of 2013 - 8 more to go until I get to my goal!

Next...well. Next Race unless I sign up for something in July or Aug is the King of the Hill 5K Sept 1st!

Cario BURNS Calories!

I came across this on Tumbler and I loved it so I figured I would share it.

The Draw of the Ice Machine....

Usually it is so cold at work I have on long pants, slippers, 2 sweaters and a long sleeve shirt and I am still cold!   for some reason...and out of the ordinary, it is really hot in our office.

Well, we have a large commercial ice machine at work. it is out in the hangar and the line guys use it. Today when I went to put ice in my water bottle, because I am so blinking hot (note - I don't have all those layers on, today, thankfully just a fall dress. still warm, but it could be worse). I find myself standing in front of the ice machine with the lid open looking into it with longing.

The ice machine is 2/3 empty and all I can think to myself is....I wonder if I could just climb in, would any one notice, I could fit in there, just close the lid...take a little nap. God that would feel so good right now. Ugh it is so hot in my office. I look around. It is so hot in this hangar. My eyes wonder back to the ice... I feel myself reaching down towards the ice cubes... thinking,  I could take off my shoes first so the ice doesn't get dirty...

Really Chloe, taking off your shoes to keep the ice from getting dirty, you would be crawling into an ice machine and closing the lid.

Sometimes the things that wonder though my head just make me wonder how sane I

July ABS-TASTIC Workout!

My never ending work towards that perfect 6 pack!

Bathroom Hide-out

Sometime I just get stressed at work and I need to escape...lately, ok for a while now...my escape has been the bathroom. I know, bathrooms are dirty places, but usually in the middle of the afternoon the place is empty (and out janitor cleans it like 5 times a day) 

Anyway, when I get stressed, I rush off to go use the facilities & I take my phone with me. This is because one of my co-workers lost her brand new iPhone 5 when someone stole it off her desk while she went to the bathroom. So to avoid this happening (hopefully) I take mine with me. 

Now I don't hide out for long, usually just 2-3 min. A chance to breath, clear my mind, focus & go back to work. While in there I busy myself on my phone, check emails, social media, etc. But I found that I have been getting trapped in the bathroom. 

Trapped you ask? 

Yup, while I'm sitting on the pot other people come in & start talking or use the bathroom themselves, and I find that I don't want to come out & expose my dirty little secret of bathroom stall hiding...so I wait until they are gone. I sit silently, trying not to make a sound so they don't know I'm there. 

Because of this I found myself trapped the other day for 10 min while two people came in & stated randomly chatting about their weekend plans. I kept looking through the slots in the door waiting for them to use the facilities & leave but no, the never did. They never turned on the water either. 

So I'm sitting, quietly on the pot, ever thankful my phone is on silent...eventually I think they have gone, so now I find myself grooving on the filthy floor trying to look under the stale for feet. 

Realizing the cost is clear, I quickly vacate the stall, wash my hands & tip-toe out. I don't want anyone to catch me exiting the bathroom either! 

I must be the only person insane enough to hide in the bathroom because I don't want people to realize I'm using the stale as a hideout! 

Anyway...that's one of my strange dirty little secrets. 

Women's Self Defense

It's hard out there...the world is not some happy-go-lucky lollipop land. It's bad, people are evil & for a woman...it's not safe.

We have all heard the stats about how many woman get attacked, mugged, rapped, and more and they are not pretty numbers. I'm sure every girl I know, including myself, could tell you at least one story. 

Because of that & regardless of the face I take Kickboxing & workout, when my Kung Fu school offered a FREE Women's Self Defense Class Saturday I signed right up, and I'm glad I did. 

A bunch of the guys I train with volunteered their day to come in and be out test subjects. 

We (the woman) learnt many basic moves and escapes to help in different situations. We learnt a few different hits to the jaw/noes & ear, we learnt how to escape a grab from behind but most importantly we we given the opportunity to learn how to get away from a man trying to grab us & hold us down. 

You can think it's easy or that it won't happen to you, but lets be real...unless your Ronda Rousey you should probably do a defense class, because it's not as easy as it looks. 

I tried to escape a few time from a potential attack from a man. Once I used repeated open hand/cupped to ear move & again a foot to the face. And I don't care how big the guy is...a full foot planted hard into his face should daze him long enough for you to run...because your ultimate goal is to run away for help!!! 

Personally being trapped under the guys, even though I knew them &  knew they were not going to hurt me...was still scary. I'm strong, but I'm still a female & physical all of them are bigger & stronger then me! 

If you ever get the chance to take a defense class, free or paid, don't pass it up. It's safer to know & be aware then to let something happen to you. And if you live in the South Florida area, I would encourage you to check out John Wai Kung Fu in Plantation & find out the next time they are offering the class. 

I don't worry every time I walk to my car at night...but I'm confident & every one should have that! 

The Aerosol Hairspray Incident...

So we usually have deodorant at work in our bathrooms....and hair spray, lotion, mouth wash & tampons. It's a bit clammy in here today since the AC has been on the fritz. I'm not sweating & I'm in a dress, so I'm not super hot, but I went to use the restroom & while washing my hands I figured, um, I should just spray some on...just to be safe. 

So I unzip the front of my dress thinking. I shoulda gone into the handicap stall...knowing my luck someone will walk in.  To late now to go for the bathroom stall, I spray under my left arm. Something doesn't smell quite right...I look down. 

Apparently I had proceeded to spray hairspray on my armpit.

I look around. The deodorant isn't there...we musta run out. 

Seriously! Now my left armpit is super sticky. 

Water you say: 

I thought about it...but didn't want to leave the front of my dress unzipped any longer. Or wipe off the deodorant that's already...now...plastered to my armpit. 

What's Your Therapy

Like many people out there, I stress  everyday. My co-workers, my job, my bills, hell everything! I sometimes feel like the walls are closing in around me & I'm just gasping...trying to keep from drowning as the little things in life continue to pile up, slowly suffocating me. 

To escape and find a single moment of peace, some people drink, some people smoke, some people take drugs...me, my escape is exercise. I think without it I'd go crazy! 

I wake up every morning & the first thing that passes through my mind is, "What workout do I have tonight?" "How far can I run this evening?" "What trail am I going to use?"

Before I started working out on a regular bases, I was a very angry person...now I know I can take out my frustration, anger, aggression & even depression on "the bag" :-)

I tell myself, stay calm Chloe, in just 3 hours you can beat the crap out of the heavy bag. 

I guess we all have our methods of dealing with life, but finding therapy in the gym, the road or on the bag...exercise has always been my best outlet. 

My Relationship

So this is my new motto, because lets face it...why bother anymore. I know its going to end before it even starts. I don't feel like wasting my time anymore.

Lies & Manipulation

"When a guy sends mixed signals to a girl  it take a toll on her psychological wellbeing, you wanna know why girls act crazy, take a look at the guy she's dating, then you'll really see some crazy! trust me" - Mike Tyson

I have had the worst luck with relationships over my lifetime. Some have been worse than others, but none of them can I really look back upon and say, that was a good relationship…to bad it ended.

Instead I have always been very guarded, letting people in just enough, but keeping myself shielded off for when they inevitable will do…hurt me…so that I will be able to get over it.

Well about 4 months ago, I finally did, after much contemplation and debate let someone in, a friend of mine that I had known for a while. One of our mutual friends actually brought it to my attention that he liked me almost a year before I actually considered it, but at the time I was involved in my latest dead-end relationship that I knew was going nowhere fast.  

Well obviously, the dead-end relationship ended, only for me to find out that it wasn’t really a relationship. I apparently had been the only one to believe that I was actually in a relationship, even though I am pretty sure (100% sure) that we had talked about it. But I hadn’t been to open and involved in the relationship so I didn’t really mind too much when it ended. Like I said…this is me, I didn’t expect anything from that dead-end relationship.

Anywho, I continued to go about my life. Single. Training. Running. Enjoying. Even though I was now single I didn’t see the point pick up another dead-end relationship with my friend, someone younger than me, who obviously wouldn’t know what he really wanted and for a few more logical reason. Yes, I found him attractive and though he was kinda nice, and yes we were into the same things, but I know my luck…it’s me, relationships always end badly – mostly with me getting hurt. So we just remained friends.  Eventually he left to go take care of some family stuff up in Central Florida, which ended the possibility anyway…right?

One night, after a few to many drinks, I was talking to him while he was still in Central Florida and I mentioned that “yes I liked him” and I admitted the reason that I had been cautious about telling him before was that his was young, and didn’t know what he wanted and that we trained together and if something happened it would make things awkward.

Well you know how guys are, I got the BS: all my friends are older then me line and a bunch of other crap lines. But again, he was in Central Florida so what does it matter right. A few months go by…2 or 3 and then one day I am in kickboxing and in he walks. I had no idea that he was coming back, I asked him why he didn’t tell me. He said he wanted to surprise me and surprise me he did. My girl said my face light up like it was Christmas. Because yes there were all those reasons as to why, but I did like the boy damnit! LOL

So we start hanging out, but I didn’t know about letting him in, I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to hurt him and all of those issues about his age and the fact that we train together keep running around in the back of my head. But the more we hung out, the more I realized how much we got along and how good we were together. All those things that I hate in relationships and problems I have, he didn’t provide any of them. It was just easy and for the first time I actually started to consider maybe just maybe letting someone in.

After talking to him and listening to the things (lines) he feed me, I did drop my guard. Faster and farther down then I have ever dropped my guard before. I opened myself up and made myself completely and utterly 100% venerable.

Big Freaking Mistake!

Of course…this is me we are talking about, so you know exactly what happened. It ended. Badly. To be honest it still hurts to think about it. I am not yet ready to say how it ended, but not well. And I don't know if I will fully recover from this one. As I said, I've been hurt a lot before,  but never lead on and screwed over so badly by a friend & lover. I think he pretty much took the last trust I had.

I know people say that I’ll get over it, but I also know me. It took me so much to open up to him. The stuff that he told me, I have never been so lied to & lead on in my life by a friend and let’s face it, if a friend can do that so easily to me....shit.

I still can’t get over the BS crap that he said to me. If I was that type of person I would tell you all the crap he said to me. Because it is all still there in my phone via txt messages and Facebook messages, but to be honest, it would just hurt too much and I am trying to keep from feeling anymore pain right now.

It just makes me so angry. How stupid was I to actually believer him & trust him! I though he was my friend. I thought he was a good honest person. I didn't realize how much of a snake he was lying to my face so easily, in front of all our friends. Completely uncaring of any pain that he knew he was going to cause me. 

I'm mad at him, but I guess in all reality I'm really mad at myself for falling for another guy who ended up being no different than any of the other ones. For letting my guard down and actually opening up and for just the plain fact that I didn't see it! WTF is wrong w/ me?! Do I have a giant flashing sign on my forehead that says "gullible loser...screw over here"

I has been a few weeks…usually I would be so over it right now, but I swear to god I'm fucking broken. I think that I am just one of those people who is destine to not be in a relationship. That is ok right, there is always bag therapy!

Sadly, I don't think I will ever open up to someone like that again. I never had before & I am damn sure I won't again.