The Resume Man

Dating in South Florida is hard and frustrating and sometimes...well most of the time these days, I am beginning to wonder if it is even worth it.

I meet guys in different places, out when I am on a run, at a race, at the dog park, etc....

Well about two months back I meet this guy at the park. I was running with my dog and we got to chatting when I stopped for water. He seemed normal enough and we chatted for a while. But it was getting hot and although the guy asked me if I wanted to go grab a coffee and keep talking, I wanted to:

A) Get home and give Jake something to eat, water and get him into the AC
B) Get a shower...I am dripping in sweat, its South Florida summer fools...sweat is running down my ass crack
C) What if he is crazy...do I really want to go have coffee with a crazy dude...need to weed out the crazy first

So I say no and I figure the best way to see if anything might spark is to give him my number. I tell him to text me sometime. I figure, we meet at a park so he has to be kinda into active things and maybe we have some stuff in common.

Well before I even get out of the park...guy is texting me. This may seem cute to some girls, but to me...we just spoke. I said text me sometime, not as soon as I drive away. --> FLAG 1

Whatever, I get home and showered, did what I needed to do and by the time I did respond (about 2 hours later), I had 4 or 5  more additional txt from him. He asked me what took so long, and told me that he was wondering what was going on. --> FLAG 2

Over the next week or so we text back and forth. As we get to talking I find out the so-called job he was telling me about was his OLD job and he is currently unemployed and has been for awhile now. OK, not the best, but I understand that the economy is in the crapper and jobs are sometimes hard to come by...but still. --> FLAG 3

Now the more he texts me the more I start to realize that running into him at the park was a fluke and that it was probably the first time he had even been to a park in years. He was there with some friend for a bbq or something. Whatever, I am a pretty active person so obviously I want to date someone who is active as well. When he starts asking me why I go to the gym everyday and telling me the last time he went was over a year ago...I start to wonder...maybe this isn't a good fit. --> FLAG 4

Next he owns a purse dog. I know, I know. men can own small weak yappy purse dogs. Hell Jake's bark is so girly it is embarrassing but he is still a 40lb mutt who is strong a hell and tough as nails! Boy runs 7 miles with me and can drag me down the road no problem. So a man with a dog smaller than my shoe...for me personally it is a turn off. --> FLAG 5

By flag number 5 in as many days...I decide...NOPE, rather not bother going down this road, should just say something before it goes any father.

So I give him a heads up. I tell him...in a nicer way, that  I don't think we would be much of a match considering his favorite pass time is sitting on the couch watching Dorito's, not looking for a new job while watching TV and mine is hitting the gym for a few hours every day and racing on the weekends. He said he still wanted to take me out to dinner and that I should give him a chance. Whatever...his choice, I said my peace.

So anyway....I got really busy with training and didn't respond for about 2 days, when I suddenly got a text saying.

"Hey Chloe Foster how have you been? Nice Facebook Picture, You are as pretty as I remember."

What...ummm...WTF...

I never told him my last name...did he just seriously just looked me up on Facebook --> YES all my privacy setting are up and pretty much you can't see shit unless we are friends...and I only friend people I KNOW, but I think if you are going to stalk someone on facebook (and other social media) you shouldn't tell them about it when you don't really know them yet. Stalk in a sneaky way, don't blare that crap out there.

I told him it was a little creepy and it kinda wigged me out.

He said he wasn't creepy and to prove it to me he proceeded to TEXT me a complete copy of his Resume...

Really...now that just got even creepier. I have never had a guy send me a copy of his Resume to prove to me that he was not creepy. I have never had a guy offer to show me his resume...what the hell does a resume have to do with if you are a creepster or not!? Seriously! Whatever...maybe I am just a complete bitch.

I told him that I would rather we end it and not take things farther....I didn't think we were a match anyway. He asked if we could be friends, and me being the anti-social person that I am passed on that options as well.

He has proceeded to text me at least 2 times a week since then...to this day. Just either with
"Hi" or "Are you still bothered by that" or "Can we be friends yet" or "How are you & Jake doing"

I never respond...don't need to lead him on...and it has been over 2 months.

Oh well, guess that wasn't romance in S. Florida...I am still on the "hunt" for a good many in this backasswards place. Maybe next time...but I I doubt it.

The Life of a Single Fit Girl

I don't really date much, not that I don't want to and cannot, but S. FL is full of guys that will say whatever they need to just to get into your pants, then proceed to be shocked that you felt lead-on or whatever. And considering my luck with guys in the past even when I do try (let's just say ZERO winners in my past) I don't bother. I don't have the time, energy or patients to deal with it anymore. 

Well the news of my singleness for over a year now has managed to get around a company full of people that I don't really talk to in general and definitely don't talk to about my personal life. 

Some have asked me out, others have asked why, a few offered to set me up, I even have one gentleman who often tells me he is praying for me to find a boyfriend so I don't have to be alone anymore...Oh joy! Just what I want. Lol. 

Anyway, this often leads to interesting comments, questions and discussions that I would honestly rather not be involved in. The latest conversations was a prime example: 

Co-worker asked: are a lot of guys too intimidated to ask you out? 

Me: umm, IDK, why?

Co-worker: cuz you're big, like your arms. they are almost the size as mine, but just more cut. 

Me: haha. Umm maybe, they don't ask me out. I don't really know.

Co-worker: so you wouldn't date a couch potato that has a beer gut. 

Me: umm, we wouldn't really have much in common, so probably not.

Co-worker: what if he had a really nice personality.

Me: but I focus a lot of my life on fitness, i'd want him to like that kinda stuff to so we could do some of it together. 

Co-worker: so you only date bodybuilder type big guys

Me: god no! Guys with my build.

Co-worker: oh ok. So now that you are all in shape & stuff, why do you keep working out? 

Me: really? 

Co-worker: yeah, are you ever gonna stop?

Me: No, I really enjoy working out & I wouldn't keep this body if I stopped exercising. 

Co-worker: oh ok. 

I'd think he was hitting on my but he's married, wife & kids. But so strange. Although, this is the same guy that said I look and dress like a dude a few months back. 

How to Lose My Attention in 3...2...1

So I'm walking Jake, and I run into a kinda attractive guy out walking his 4 month old puppy. Cute puppy. 

We strike up a conversation, he's "flirting" a little. I'm not really interested in dating another guy (they are all basically on my shit list since the last one) but I don't mind a little eye candy...and I may not be hateful forever. 

He walks w/ us as Jake tries to befriend his terrified puppy. We chat until we get to his place. 

His gate is open & I see a sparing dummy in his patio. I think maybe...he's worth getting to know just a bit more.

Enthusiastically I say, "Do you spar"

"What?" He replies

"Do you box" I repeat

"Hu" he responds

"You have a sparring dummy, do you fight?" I ask...slowly realizing he has no idea what I'm talking about.

"A what?" He asks

"That" I say impatiently, pointing at the sparring dummy

"Oh, is that what that is, that's my body guard"....and 3...2...1...

I have an urge to go back to his place and ask him if I can have it...because he's wasting a perfectly good sparring dummy. 

Sadly, I found it kinda annoying and completely turned off by his lack of knowledge. Maybe I'm just too picky :-) 

Crazy Doesn't EVEN Begin to Cover It!

OMG sometimes men are just creepy.  One of my guy friends is seriously confused.

First off, let me just say…I have told this guy MULTIPLE times that I am not interested in dating him and that I am seeing other people. I have made that very very clear!  I have guy friends, guys that I go out with, watch the game, whatever, and none of them have gone all crazy on me like this.

So a few months ago (beginning of September) he said he had a bunch of Marriot points and needed to figure out what to do with them. I suggested taking a vacation somewhere like Bahamas or Puerto Rico or Jamaica. He said, that is a great idea, do you want to come with me. Knowing that I DID NOT want to go on vacation alone with him and give him the wrong idea, but wanting to be nice. I replied, “Well, I don’t know, it all depends on when and money.”

He suggested the wkend of Dec 7. Still trying to be nice and bow out in a polite way…because I still don’t want to go on a weekend away with him, say, “well I don’t have the money right now, I would have to find a sitter for Jake and my schedule is pretty crazy at work, but if things change for some reason I will let you know.”

*let me just remind you that this was all talked about in September

Time passes …we don’t mention this again. Since I am not planning on going with him, I don’t bring it up, but neither does he. So I move forward with my life. Make plans. You know…do my own thing. Figure if he was serious about it, he would bring it up again and I would just tell him a weekend away may give him the wrong idea so no.

Then last night, he said: “Hey, can you take Roxy the weekend after Thanksgiving”

I said, “sure”

Then he said “And don’t forget Dec 7^th we are going to Jamaica for the weekend. Remember, I mentioned it to you...”

I looked at him in SHOCK! We haven’t talked about this in weeks, where did this come from all of a sudden??

Yes YES, I know, we talked about it like twice but we NEVER finalized anything and a few weeks back my friend that I haven’t seen in 3 years told me she was coming down that weekend. Why wouldn’t I tell one of my best friends…sure come on down. I didn’t have plans that weekend!  

He (under his breath) was all, "well now I will have to figure out what I'm gonna do that wkend"

I said "well it's your wkend, you can do whatever you want, we didn’t have plans"

He said "Whatever, that's Bullshit" again under his breath.

I was confused & asked him WTF. He's all, “we were supposed to go to Jamaica.”

I said, “we talked about it weeks…months ago, but never finalized it, plus my friend has booked her ticket for that weekend  & I haven't seen her in years, so I'm not going anywhere.”

He was like "whatever, you should have told me she was coming that weekend. We did finalize plans. This is BS.” 

I looked @ him & was like, "you can stop saying crap under your breath and just say it. But We NEVER finalized anything & have not talked about this trip in MONTHS! I did mention to you my friend was coming; I mentioned it to everyone because I am excited about it. BUT honestly, I don’t have to tell you anything about my life. YOU ARE NOT MY BOYFRIEND. WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP! I told you originally...WEEKS ago, that it wasn’t in my budget, but if something changed I would let you know”

He kept trying to tell me we had finalized everything. And this crazy boy actually reserved the hotel!

We had not finazlied anything….and I wasn’t planning on going. I had told him I couldn’t afford it.

I know. I should have just been blunt up front, but seriously, I was just trying to be nice! I guess being nice was the WRONG idea.

But really:

I didn't request off work. It was a suggested date we talked about 2x in freaking SEPT!!! Then he tried to tell me we had planned it all out. Umm...no, cuz if we had, I'd have:
A) TOLD MY BEST FRIEND & MY MUM
B) booked a ticket
C) found a sitter for Jake!!
D) Requested off work! 

I did none if those things!!! So um I told him instead of putting words in my mouth he could get the fuck out of my house because we didn't finalize anything & hadn't talked about it in months.

What the hell. Seriously!

A Boy v/s A Man...

I have been single now for about 2 months, and in I have had some interesting dates and encounters (with the opposite sex) so I figure…maybe I should share some of these, for many reasons: a good laugh, a WTF moment or just a lesson to help other woman see the crazy before it hits them and they have time to run.

So here it goes:

Ironically…I still have this strange belief that at a certain point in your life, guys would grow up…I am almost 30. But I guess 30(ish) year old boys are still 16….This is a perfect example of how stupid men can be!

I had been talking to this guy for a while and I finally agreed to go on a date with this guy last week. He has a great body, graduate degree, lived alone, had his own business, into the same things as I am…so I figured, why not, seems to have his head on right.

He picks me up, opens the door, perfect gentleman and takes me out to sushi (since I don’t eat meat…he remember…plus)

Dinner was great; we talked and got a long really well, so we made plans to see each other again this week. Last night, he gives me a text:

"Ready for Round 2"

I said "Haha, Maybe :-) what do you have in mind"

He replied "Round two of Kissing, LOL"

I said "Haha. Dinner maybe a better place to start. :)"

He said "Dinner again!"

I said “Well dinner or something. What do you have in mind?"

His response "Kisses"

I said, "Haha. I'm not 16. I don't just meet up w/ guys to go to make-out bluff anymore. I'm kinda more a get to know someone first, relationship type of girl"

He said "Ohh so you’re not into the whole bases thing"

I said "LOL...not for a few years now, u?

He never responded.

I felt like I had fallen down the rabbits hole back to 1998 and was talking to a 16 year old boy! WTF. Really!!! I didn’t enjoy talking to 16 year old boys when I was 16…THAT is exactly why I dated older men! Why the hell would I want to talk to one now? Seriously! What kinda idiot thinks he takes a girl out once and then the go have a make-out session for the second date. Guess I won’t be hearing from him again, THANK GAWD cuz I so don’t want a kid!   

Oh well, I have another date tonight...maybe this one can at least act like he is 18! I would say he does have a college degree and owns his own house...so maybe he is a grown man...but you never know!

But on the plus side, at least I am not going out with a guy who is 35 and STILL trying to get his career in line!

Kisses....really?!...SMH, IDK anymore