Scrubbing Bubbles v/s Cockroach

Before you go out of town for the holidays, one thing I always do is clean my house.

Tuesday night I come home and after a nice 2 hour workout I decide to clean my house before heading out of town for the holidays. I open up all the doors and start the cleaning.

I did the laundry, dishes, cleaned the kitchen, dusted the living room, swept the floor and mopped...finally I was done, the downstairs looked good.

I poured a glass of wine and went upstairs, thinking to myself that I was going to fold and put away my cloths  and quickly clean the bathroom before jumping into the shower.

Cloths away I head to the bathroom for the finally! Sitting down to go to the bathroom, I look around...monitoring what needs to be done. Suddenly my eyes land on what I assume is a cockroach. (OK, it may not have been a cockroach, but I freaking HATE bugs and any 6 legged creatures that isn't an ant or have wings is a cockroach.)

I understand bugs in houses, but how the hell did this thing get into my bathroom!!

I sit motionless on the pot... afraid to move not wanting to draw unwanted attention to myself. I scan the bathroom for something to kill the creature with when my eyes fall on the can of Scrubbing Bubbles that I had pulled out to clean the bathroom.

Taking careful aim, I empty about 1/4 of the can onto the freaking thing...die MF die...and, still sitting on the pot, wait for the bubbles to die down with a huge wad of TP in my hand.

As the bubbles pop I can finally see the bug twitching under the suds and I toss the wad down on top of it and proceed to smash the roach to death with the Scrubbing Bubbles can (so gratefully for Scrubbing Bubbles!)

Now that I had successfully defeated the roach, I turn my focus back to cleaning. I clean the tub, sink, counter, toilet and floor. I debate cleaning the shower, but I had done it the other day and I spray it down after every use with diluted bleach...so I figure - na, I'm good.

Feeling dirty and ready to crawl into bed and finally finish my glass of wine...which I am sure has warmed up since I came upstairs, I quickly strip and climb into the shower.

As I begin to wash my face I look around and see a baby cockroach crawling up the shower door (ok, again maybe not a roach...it was a 6 legged tiny black thing with a red strip on its back, but as I said...all 6 legged things that aren't ants and don't have wings are roaches)

I throw the shower door open and grab the Scrubbing Bubbles can again and go to town on the baby roach. Which I am sure is pissed the hell off at me for killing his daddy 10 min ago.

With the baby now killed I lean down to put the can on the floor...might as well clean the shower since it is in here now...and I look to the left corner. There are like 7 more of these little bastards plotting my death for murdering their kin! Where the F' did all these baby's come from, how did they get into my shower and What the hell is going on here!

Freaked out and unable to contain my in-dept fear of bugs I finally spaz. I stumble (not so gracefully) out of the shower and end up on my butt looking into my shower. The freaking things doesn't just have 7 bugs in there it has like freaking 70 (that may be a little bit of a dramatized number, but I was traumatized at the time)! And I was in there NAKED! EEEK!

I go insane, I spray the army of baby roaches with Scrubbing Bubbles and Diluted Bleach. I spend a good 10 mins killing and cleaning my shower and fighting to get my heart rate under 200 I succeed.

I go downstairs, dig out the Big Ass bottle of commercial bug killer and go back upstairs.

I spray the crap out of my shower...thinking, ummm this can not be good for me. I then spray the rest of the damn house. Freaking bugs!

Finally done, I change and get into bed....I turn on the TV, pick a show to watch and sit back. I lean over to pick up my glass of wine and there is a freaking MOTH in it, having some kind of seizure!

Really. Can't I just get a break!!!

Or maybe I just need to really invest in some screens for my doors ASAP! HAHA

Me and Toilets Just DON'T Mix!

I had to pee so bad (been drinking a TON of water today)...so I scuttled to the ladies room and hurried into the stall. Not looking, I pulled my pants down and sat down, I FREAKING FELL IN and cracked my tail bone! The damn seat was up! WTF, I appreciate the fact that they clean the bathrooms, but can they put the seat down afterwards! It is the ladies room!! I don't know many ladies that need the seat up when they go to the rest room...so why is it left up!

How horrible is it to fall into the toilet at work? My butt was all wet and I had to whip it off with that cheap ass toilet paper that kept breaking apart and leaving bits of TP on my butt! 

So gross.  At least it was clean! But...ugh! So gross!!!!

Now I smell that cleaning solution that they use in the bathroom now...while sitting in my office. I wonder if other people who come in to talk to me can smell it to...and I wonder what they think...possible "WOW Chloe, you are really clean!" 

LOL :)

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Oh and I forgot to mention that I have been putting Bobbi Brown oil free lotion on my face all day, because it is still raw from the wind during the Half on Sunday...So after cleaning off my now sparkling butt, I go out to SCRUB my hands and see a GLOB of the white lotion on my eyelid! I looked very inappropriate. UMMM. How long has that lotion been there looking like...use your imagination...and no one told me! embarrassing to say the least, and I am crossing my fingers that it wasn't long. Or everyone in the office may start to think of me in a different way!

Really....Why do these things always happen to me!??

You can read about my other fun Toilet Trips on my last fun blog.

Crazy Doesn't EVEN Begin to Cover It!

OMG sometimes men are just creepy.  One of my guy friends is seriously confused.

First off, let me just say…I have told this guy MULTIPLE times that I am not interested in dating him and that I am seeing other people. I have made that very very clear!  I have guy friends, guys that I go out with, watch the game, whatever, and none of them have gone all crazy on me like this.

So a few months ago (beginning of September) he said he had a bunch of Marriot points and needed to figure out what to do with them. I suggested taking a vacation somewhere like Bahamas or Puerto Rico or Jamaica. He said, that is a great idea, do you want to come with me. Knowing that I DID NOT want to go on vacation alone with him and give him the wrong idea, but wanting to be nice. I replied, “Well, I don’t know, it all depends on when and money.”

He suggested the wkend of Dec 7. Still trying to be nice and bow out in a polite way…because I still don’t want to go on a weekend away with him, say, “well I don’t have the money right now, I would have to find a sitter for Jake and my schedule is pretty crazy at work, but if things change for some reason I will let you know.”

*let me just remind you that this was all talked about in September

Time passes …we don’t mention this again. Since I am not planning on going with him, I don’t bring it up, but neither does he. So I move forward with my life. Make plans. You know…do my own thing. Figure if he was serious about it, he would bring it up again and I would just tell him a weekend away may give him the wrong idea so no.

Then last night, he said: “Hey, can you take Roxy the weekend after Thanksgiving”

I said, “sure”

Then he said “And don’t forget Dec 7^th we are going to Jamaica for the weekend. Remember, I mentioned it to you...”

I looked at him in SHOCK! We haven’t talked about this in weeks, where did this come from all of a sudden??

Yes YES, I know, we talked about it like twice but we NEVER finalized anything and a few weeks back my friend that I haven’t seen in 3 years told me she was coming down that weekend. Why wouldn’t I tell one of my best friends…sure come on down. I didn’t have plans that weekend!  

He (under his breath) was all, "well now I will have to figure out what I'm gonna do that wkend"

I said "well it's your wkend, you can do whatever you want, we didn’t have plans"

He said "Whatever, that's Bullshit" again under his breath.

I was confused & asked him WTF. He's all, “we were supposed to go to Jamaica.”

I said, “we talked about it weeks…months ago, but never finalized it, plus my friend has booked her ticket for that weekend  & I haven't seen her in years, so I'm not going anywhere.”

He was like "whatever, you should have told me she was coming that weekend. We did finalize plans. This is BS.” 

I looked @ him & was like, "you can stop saying crap under your breath and just say it. But We NEVER finalized anything & have not talked about this trip in MONTHS! I did mention to you my friend was coming; I mentioned it to everyone because I am excited about it. BUT honestly, I don’t have to tell you anything about my life. YOU ARE NOT MY BOYFRIEND. WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP! I told you originally...WEEKS ago, that it wasn’t in my budget, but if something changed I would let you know”

He kept trying to tell me we had finalized everything. And this crazy boy actually reserved the hotel!

We had not finazlied anything….and I wasn’t planning on going. I had told him I couldn’t afford it.

I know. I should have just been blunt up front, but seriously, I was just trying to be nice! I guess being nice was the WRONG idea.

But really:

I didn't request off work. It was a suggested date we talked about 2x in freaking SEPT!!! Then he tried to tell me we had planned it all out. Umm...no, cuz if we had, I'd have:
A) TOLD MY BEST FRIEND & MY MUM
B) booked a ticket
C) found a sitter for Jake!!
D) Requested off work! 

I did none if those things!!! So um I told him instead of putting words in my mouth he could get the fuck out of my house because we didn't finalize anything & hadn't talked about it in months.

What the hell. Seriously!

Who's That Lurking in the Bushes?

I have a lot of interesting experiences when I go out for my evening runs. I see some of the craziest things and try (when I can) to get pictures of some of them…but sometimes you just can’t take a picture.

Last night was one of those times…

I took my pup out after work and we went for a short run. Now that it is getting dark earlier, although I set out with the sun up but the last few miles are in the dark. 

I was on the last bit of my run and up ahead of me stopped on the side of the road was a black van with the engine running, lights off and side door open.

I have a sudden realization that its dark out & I think DAMN “I gadda start carrying my mace again!” I have a sudden flash in my head of some big beefy guy leaping out of the bushes, putting a cloth socked in chloroform over my mouth, pushing me into the running car, hurting my dog, kidnapping me & selling me into slavery! I may have been over thinking things….

As I got closer, I saw some movement in the bushes out of the corner if my eye! Fight or Flight suddenly rushes through my body and I am tense, ready to flee. Only to see a 12 year old boy in a blue shirt comes lumbering out of the bushes!

I yelp anxiously while the adrenalin rushes through my body and it registers in my mind that it is just a child. I continue running past grateful people cannot read my mind and slightly embarrassed that I let out a yelp that I am pretty sure they heard.

What was a 12 year old boy doing in the bushes on the side of Hiatus at 7:30 at night you ask…well since he was adjusting his pants when he came out of the bushes, I am going to guess he was back there peeing. Not quite sure the kid couldn’t wait 2 min until they got to the McDonalds, Walgreens, Mobile or Winn Dixie that are all just a mile up the road before he had to relive himself. I guess lurking in the bushes and scaring the crap out of unsuspecting woman as they jog by is more fun. 

Damn Kids!