Horrible Bosses - The Movie (2011)

This past weekend, my friend and I went to go see Horrible Bosses. I am usually not one for spending $10 to go see a comedy movie in the theaters, let’s face it…the movie is just as funny 6 months later sitting on your couch and it only cost you half as much. It’s not like action and horror movies that really utilize the surround sound and big screens. But this one actually looked funny enough to go to the theater and watch…and we were right.

The movie begins with one of the main characters; Nick (played by Jason Bateman) arrives to his job at 6:00 am (gawd that would sux, I hate coming in at 8am). Nick rushes into the building trying desperately not to be late, but as the elevator doors close behind him, you see the clock reading 6:02, he’s late. Over the next few hours you see time fast forward around him, people coming into the office, the morning routine beginning (I am convinced this routine is the same in 99% of the offices around the world). A few hours later Nick gets called into his boss’s office. His boss Dave Harken (played by Kevin Spacey) demands to know what time Nick got into the office this morning. Nick shrugs a minute late he replies. Harken spins on him, sarcastically saying that the video cameras in the elevator must be off because it said 6:02 and since the cameras are wrong, he is going to fire the security guard for making such a grave error. Nick, in an effort to save the poor man’s job, admits to being 2 mins late. Harken relaxes and goes pours a glass of expensive scotch. He inquires if Nick wants one, and since nick is craving a promotion, he accepts. Only to discover he is drinking alone. To be polite, Nick down the full cup of scotch and leaves the office.  

Nicks boss is a: “Total Fucking Asshole”

Dale (played by Charlie Day) has a goal of being a husband, but since that doesn’t pay, he works as a dental assistant. We meet Dale as he is being dropped off at work by his fiancé Stacy and everything seems fine, until we meet Dales boss, Julia (played by Jennifer Aniston). She has it out for Dale, and not in a screw you over way, but in a screw you sexual way. Julia spends her day sexually harassing Dale and sexually harassing her unconscious male patients in front of Dale. Although one would think Dale could just quite, he can’t, he is a registered pedo for peeing in a children’s park in the middle of the night. Julia knows that he can’t leave, and takes full advantage of it.

Dale’s boss is a: “Evil Crazy Bitch”

Finally we meet Kurt (played by Jason Sudeikis) and out of the three guys, he is the only one that loves his job. He works for a great guy at a chemical company. Although Kurt loves his boss, his job and the people he works with, he despises his boss’s son, Bobby Pellitt (played by Colin Ferrell). Bobby is a spoiled rotten cocaine addict who spends all of his time at work in the bathroom doing blow. While Kurt his walking his boss out to the car, his boss tells him that one day, Kurt will take over the company. Thrilled, Kurt turns as his boss drives away, only to have a heart attack that kills him…leaving Bobby in charge.

Kurts new boss is a: “Dipshit Cockhead Son”

The three guys seem to spend their evenings trading horror stories about their bosses at a local bar. Until now, Kurt has never had a complaint about his job, but tonight is different. Kurt realizes that his company is going to go down the shitter in the hands of the idiot son. They begin contemplating quitting their jobs and looking for new ones…until an old college classmate named Kenny runs into them. Although Kenny had a great job, he lost it and has been now unemployed for 2 years. He spends his time wondering around bars and “preforming sexual acts” in the bar bathrooms, realizing that finding a new job might be harder than they expected; they decided to grin and bare it.

The next day, Nick goes into work, expecting to be promoted to the new VP of Sales. Sitting in the emergency staff meeting, he gets blindsided. Harken decided to name himself VP of Sales. Nick snaps, he tackles Harken and drags him by is tie to the window where he proceeds the throw Harken out while the man is begging for his life. Snapping back to reality Nick realizes he had been daydreaming. After the meeting Nick runs to confront Harken. Harken laughs in his face and tells Nick that he will never be promoted, angrily Nick tells Harken that he will quit, Harken calmly replies that if he did, he would blackball him in the industry. Realizing that his hands were tied, and that he is truly Harken’s bitch…Nick reluctantly backs down.

Meanwhile Kurt is having his first truly bad day with a horrible boss. After spending the morning at his old boss’s funeral, Kurt arrives to work to a coked out Bobby giving him shit for attending his father, the old bosses, funeral and being late to work. Wheeling himself back into his new office, Bobby calls for Kurt to follow. He proceeds to tell Kurt that he wants him to file all the fatties, starting with “Large Marge”. Kurt taken aback explains that she is pregnant. Bobby back downs and then tells Kurt to fire Professor X, the disabled freak in the wheelchair. Kurt again declines and Bobby tells him, either you fire one of them or I fire all of you. He then says he is going to bleed this company dry and retire on a beach with hookers and cocaine ASAP.

Dale, heads into work prepared for another day of horrible harassment, gets called into Julia’s office. Timidly walking in, Julia confronts him in nothing but a lab coat and underwear. Locking the door behind him, Julia asks him to take a seat. She apologizes for her actions and says that if he ever feels uncomfortable he should let her know. Dale just looks at her in shock. Julia then proceeds to tell him that since he is getting married soon. Dale threatens to quit, but Julia politely reminds him that he is a pedo and nobody else would ever hire him. Dale is trapped.

At the bar again, the three make a joke – wouldn’t it be easier if their bosses were dead?

The next day Dale arrives at work to see his fiancé and Julia together. Stacy explains that Julia offered to give her free dental work as a wedding gift. Dale, freaking out tries to get Stacy to go, but all his feeble attempts fail and Stacy goes into the chair. While Stacy is passed out, Julia tries to convince Dale to have sex with her on top of his passed out fiancé. Refusing, Julia shows him some dirty pictures that she took of them together when he first started and was sedated for some dental work.

Dale arrives at the house; he bursts in and declares “I’m in! Let’s kill this bitch!” The other two guys look at Dale in surprise, while Dale tells them what Julia has done. The guys look at each other and decide to do it.

Dale takes on the project of finding them a hit-man. The next day, the three guys meet in a dead-end motel. Dale has found a guy on Craigslist who offers to do “Wet Work”. Looking out the hotel window the guys really think they found the perfect man, he is well dressed looks the part. But Dale is horrible wrong. The man is offering to piss on the guys for $200. He is not a hitman he is a fetish provider. The guys give the man money for his time and leave the motel extremely quickly.

Realizing that nothing is going well, Kurt takes control of the situation. He decides the best way to find a hitman is to go to the worst part of town, so he flips on his OnStar GPS and an Indian guys named “Gregory” comes on the line. Gregory leads them to the most dangerous part of town and the three guys head into the bar. Kurt idiotically asks the bartender if he knows any killers-for-hire. The bartender turns on him, calls him a racist and picks up a baseball bat. Realizing that they should leave they rush outside, where they are stopped by Motherfucker Jones (played by Jamie Foxx). Motherfucker tells them that the just got out of the pin for doing a dime, but can still help them with their little problem for 30 large. The guys realize that is to expensive (I found this to funny…human life 10k…to much?! What is the value of a human life? We soon have our answer). Motherfucker and the guys agree on 5k and the guys set out to collect the money.

The next night the guys go back to the bar to meet Motherfucker. They hand over a briefcase with the money inside (do you have any idea how pathetic 5k looks all alone in a briefcase). Once the case was handed over, Motherfucker decides that he is going to be their “murder consultant”, upset the guys ask for their money back, but are too scared of Motherfucker to demand it so they head off to find a way to make their bosses deaths look like an accident.

**If you want to actually go and enjoy this movie now is the time to stop**

 The stakeout begins. They guy’s head over to Bobby’s house and as soon as the dipshit leaves, they break in and do they make a mess of things. Dale and Nick knock over a huge container of blow on the floor and while trying to clean it up with a vacuum, they manage to inhale a lot of it. And Dale, taking out his childish revenge puts everything in Bobby’s bathroom into his ass (including toothbrush, floss, etc) at least on the way out they managed to steal Bobby’s cell which has his schedule on it.

Next stop for our three musketeers is Harken’s house. Since Dale is all coked up, they tell him to act as a lookout and wait in the car, while the three head inside to get a better look, The house is spotless, except for a crazed cat that seems to be stalking them around the house. Kurt, being the male dog that he is finds one thing he likes in the house, a picture of Harken young attractive wife.

While inside the house, a coked out Dale eats a PB&J sandwich (not sure why someone high on blow would be eating, that is usually left for the stoners, not crack heads) Dale tosses his sandwich wrapper out the window, just as Harken is walking by and being his rude self, he picks up the wrapper and start to yell at the confused Dale. Suddenly Harken collapse in the street having a massive allergic reaction to the peanut butter. Dale, freaking out jumps out of the car and repeatedly, violently stabs Harken in the chest and neck with his epipen – saving the man they are trying to kills life.  

Kurt and Nick having witnessed this from the bedroom window, think Dale is killing Harken and they take off, leaving Dale behind.

Now they know Bobby and Harkens weakness…add some rat poison into the cocaine and put peanuts in Harkens shampoo, Kurt, being the male pig is going to take care of Julia , and does he ever. Kurt watches Julia from the car until she invites him in and they go at it like wild mice.

Nick is watching Bobby’s house, waiting for him to go out. He see Bobby messing with some hookers and figures it is going to be a bit of a wait.

Dale, back outside the Harkens house waits for them to leave…but inside harken has found Bobby’s phone, dropped by one of the brilliant three musketeers as they broke in. Harken convinced that he has found the phone belonging to his wives lover storms out of his out.

Dale seeing his chance sneaks in…

But Harken didn’t go far; he pulls up at Bobby’s house, rings the front door and as Nick sits in his car watching shoots Bobby killing him. Nike freaks out calls Dale and tells him what happened and they speeds off into traffic.

But running traffic never helps…the police flag Nick down and Dale, Nick and Kurt are taken into custody. Realizing that Kurt had left DNA all over Bobby’s apartment once released for lack of evidence the 3 men decide to get out of dodge. With no other options, the guys contact Motherfucker again, who admits that he has never killed anyone and was busted for bootlegging. Motherfucker, although not experienced in the world of murder, tells the musketeers to get Harken to confess on the record and they will be able to save their behinds.

So the idiots head back to harkens house, but unbeknownst to them, there is a surprise birthday party. Harken’s wife, rushes them into hiding for when Harken returns.

Surprised, Harken is annoyed that his wife through a party (what made her think that he would enjoy something like that is beyond me, the man is a dick), Harken goes off into his office. Dale and Nick follow him in but the male whore Kurt sneaks off to bang Harken’s wife.

  

Harken, easily confesses to murdering Bobby and then nicely asks the gentlemen to remain where they are so he can kill them next. Backing out of the room, they realize that Kurt, with the tape recorder is not there. They turn and run, out of the office and right into Kurt as he is coming out of the bathroom with Harkens wife (for being a male dog, you think he could last longer than 5 min, does he really think he got her off?!

Running to the car, Kurt calls Gregory and asks him to help them get out of town. Gregory proceeds to shut off the car and says that he can’t help fugitives. Frustrated the idiots yell at Gregory, while harkens SUV slams into them. He demands them to get out of the car and then proceeds to tell them how he is going to kill them. When the police arrive, the 3 musketeers look they it’s all over for them, until Gregory announces that he has recorded the whole conversation. Saving the boys from life in prison.

Like I said, this movie was funny enough to go see in theaters, and I do recommend it! 

AT&T Causes a Stressful Blunder

I have always been a fan of AT&T; I have had their wireless since they bought out Cingular years ago (something like 6 or 7 years ago). I have had a FEW problems with them.

•  The biggest one: goes all the way back to when they bought Cingular. Somehow they managed to put my name onto two different accounts, mine and someone else. It took me YEARS (and I am still not 100% sure it is resolved) to convince them that I have never had that account and in fact at that time I had another account, my account, which I paid and was never delinquent on. It got sold into a collection agency, so every 2 years or so I have to fax over the same paperwork to the new agency, who then realizes I don’t owe anything and sells it to a new one. It is getting really old and annoying.

But besides that issue, which really isn’t AT&T fault anymore, but the collection agencies who keep selling an account that they know is not accurate and can never be collected on, AT&T has always been helpful, quick to respond to an issue and just overall a reliable company (to me personally, I am sure others feel differently). 

So with all my positive experience with AT&T a few months back I decided to switch from Comcast to U-verse, since it was newly available in my area and I have had more than my share of issues with Comcast. You can read my past blogs: Comcast Cable installation Fiasco, Yet more issues with Comcast, Comcast Fiasco PART 3 and surprise... The Cable Provider from Hell – the COMCAST nightmare continues…. If I had another option besides cable (ie satellite or another provider sooner) I would have RUN from Comcast a long time ago. And if you have a choice of Comcast v/s something else. Check out my blogs, seriously, you wouldn't want to have an experience like that!

So I set up. My installation -I loved the fact that the guy who installed it, went out of his way to hook it up correctly (when Comcast had hooked up the house for the prior owners) they had done it wrong and run wires on the outside of the house because they were too lazy to find the correct wires inside (surprise). He put little blue boots over his shoes as to not track in dirt and mess up my new carpet and he dealt with my crazed dog barking at him. He stayed and explained everything to me and let me verify that everything was working before he left!

And I love u-verse so far. I see what the Comcast commercials are trying to say about it being slower, but really, it is hardly noticeable and for the money I am saving and the fact I don't have to give Comcast and their evil blood sucking screw up employees any more money! Yah. It seriously is not that big of a deal... especially not enough to found a whole marketing campaign on....more like reaching with some BS if you ask me. (as you can tell, I still hate Comcast with a passion and hope I NEVER have to go back, cuz I most likely wouldn't even bother )

My next goal with AT&T was to combine my wireless bill with my u-verse bill, because as we all know, getting one bill is better than two and it is easier to pay, remember to pay and makes life just easier. So I log on to my account. Can’t figure it out. I call, they can’t figure it out. I call again another day a few weeks later, they still can’t tell me how to do it. I try to figure it out again a week later. This goes on and on and on. I have now paid my 3 u-verse bill (which means I have been trying to do this for 3 months) and I still haven’t been able to figure it out OR have someone at AT&T walk me through the process to completion on the phone. This is extremely disappointing.

What does one do: Look at the AT&T help…and you get this:

What is a combined AT&T U-verse and wireless services bill?

A combined bill means you receive a single bill that includes the charges for both your AT&T U-verse and wireless services. If you already have Wireless from AT&T service, you can request to combine your AT&T U-verse and wireless services bills using your online U-verse account. Combining your bills can take up to two billing cycles; please continue to pay your separate bills as they are issued until you receive the combined bill.

1.       Log in to your online account. Note:  If you do not have an online account, simply register online.

2.       Scroll down and select Learn More under Combined Billing.

Note: To qualify for combined billing, the last name and full social security number of the person responsible for the U-verse and wireless bills must be the same.

The search works, you get directions, and you read them and think to yourself! SWEET this doesn’t sound hard. You click on the like to –online account- and you log in per direction number one. It then takes you to a page you scroll down…but low and behold, there is no LEARN MORE under Combined Billing. You think, am I going mad….and do a Ctrl+F typing in both the key words and when nothing pops up you realize the directions were crap!

Apparently I am not the only one who has been having problems with this. And to be honest, who wouldn’t want to combine all their AT&T bills into one, so you know you have paid it and not going to be late or miss one or anything when are getting 2 or 3 each month. If you go on to the AT&T discussion forum, as a way to find out how other people managed it. You just get people asking the same questions and no one really providing a true answer. Just telling someone to call 611 is not going to help. Trust me; I have tried doing it that way 3 times so far!

 Now I have not been overdue or late because of this, you still get the bills, and you can still pay them, that is not the problem. The problem is convenience.

I will figure it out eventually, but service and directions like this do not continue to put AT&T at the top of my scale. As one of the top providers for cell and beginning to really kick off in the TV & Internet world, maybe little minor issues like this should be corrected.

**Side note – I tried again over the weekend to combine my billing, got another error message – unable to process your request at this time – this is seriously getting old!**

In search of the best burger - ROK:BRGR Review

So in our attempts to find the best burger in S. FL, my boyfriend and I went back to ROK:BRGR in Down Town Ft Lauderdale. I guess the first question you would ask, would be why go back if you have already been there? Two reasons….One, the first time we went was when my brother was in town. The food was amazing, the serves was great…but the night didn’t end all too well, for my brother at least, which ultimately turned us off what we had eaten rather quickly. And Two, you can’t just try one burger and make a decision. The menu has a ton of different types of burgers that we both want to try! I already know what I want to try next time we go back!

This time around, I had the Mediterranean burger, which is kinda cheating because it is lamb, not beef, and my boyfriend had the Black N Bleu burger. Usually we would split the burgers…that way we both would get a chance to try more than just one, but I am not a fan of the blue cheese…it just taste like mold to me (BECAUSE IT IS MOLD) and I was eating lamb and he was after beef.

The food overall…no…the burgers overall were good, I didn’t eat the whole thing and ended up taking half of it home with me. The fries were also very good. But we did get this special appetizer thing, Lobster Mac & Cheese which was not good at all.  So I wouldn’t recommend that at all.

The experience, this time, sadly was not as good as the first time. They sat us (well me) under a dripping air condition vent. They knew it was dripping, but put us there anyway. We asked to move and said it was because of the dripping vent, and of course they moved us right away and apologized! But while sitting there for our hour long dinner, I watched them they tried to sit 3 other people there and acted shocked each time when the people asked to move. Maybe they should have just not tried to put any one in that seat, or explained to them in advance that it was dripping instead of acting like they didn’t know. Because really, who is going to want to get dripped on while eating $15/20 burgers? Then our waitress must have been new, because she didn’t get our order right and put the wrong burger in for me so I ended up waiting for an extra 15 min after Taylor had gotten his. I didn’t mind, I felt bad for her, being new suxs and messing up suxs even worse. I have been there, I know.

I still don’t think ROK-BRGR compares to Georgies Ailbi. Even though it made my boyfriend a little uncomfortable there, it really is the best burger we have come across in South Florida so far.  But the hunt continues…searching high and low for the perfect burger…and a decent if not perfect fish n’ chips J

Free Online Press Release Locations

Today’s world is super-fast paced and every time you want to get some press in the news you have to know someone, have great news or pay for it. So a list of free online press release locations is always a plus to have in your back pocket. Let’s admit it, having your name out there is a good thing. I have spent about 3 years now, really looking for some good places to post PRs online and save the company some money. Heck, free online press releases are a great way to go. It start off when I worked for this not to great company (they were crap, overworked the employees and underpaid them…underpaid everyone except the Executive team…they had enough money to drive around in Ferrari’s while the rest of us picked between food for the week and gas for the car for the week…as you can guess they had a very high turnover rate and I didn’t stay there very long!). My boss, in order to save money asked me to start looking to see if there was anywhere online that we could post our Press Releases for free. So I started looking and I have found quite a few…some over the years have started charging, gone to dead links and a bunch of other things and others are just temperamental…but here is the list, I figure I should share it J

1.       www.newdesignworld.com

2.       www.prlog.org

3.       www.pr.com

4.       www.briefingwire.com

5.       www.clickpress.com

6.       www.freepressrelease.com

7.       www.pitchengine.com

8.       www.freepressrelease.com.au

9.       www.openpr.com

10.   www.24-7pressrelease.com

11.   www.express-press-release.net

12.   www.free-press-release.com

13.   www.i-newswire.com

14.   www.newswiretoday.com

15.   www.pr-inside.com

16.   www.pressabout.com

17.   www.prurgent.com

Now I know this isn’t all of them, however, these are the ones that I have always found to be pretty reliable. Most of them do not allow you to use HTML (etc.) but it is always a great way to get your name out there.

Out of all of them, my personal favorite is the Pitch Engine. You can use code, add images, video, links, and other news. It automatically posts to twitter and is really a great forum. Simple and easy to use.

If you know of any others that are not listed here…please let me know. Or if you find one of these is not a helpful site, or begins to charge, or can add any in-sight, please feel free to add a comment. 

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

This past week, I went to go see Transformers: Dark of the Moon with my boyfriend, brother and a few of my boyfriend’s co-workers/friends. I have been a fan of the Transformers movies, I love the Transformers (have since I was a kid), love action movies and LOVE explosions….so when I first saw this preview…I knew it was going to be on the MUST SEE list J

This movie starts off showing something none of the others have before, the final days of the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons on the planet Cybertron. Is tells the story of how the Autobots knew that they had only one chance to win the war and that was by sending a ship holding special “weapons” to escape. The ship, also known as The Ark, was piloted by the Leader of the Autobots Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy…which is totally awesome BTW…or maybe I am just a total dork – which I am…!!! ANYWAY). While Sentinel Prime (awesome) is in the mist of escaping, his ship is hit by a TON of missiles. The ship goes whack and crashes on the dark side of OUR moon.  The crash sends up flares (or whatever it is that NASA monitors) and President J.F.K pushes NASA to land some men on the moon before the Russians (hell this is during the cold war kids….we can’t let the Russians have whatever it may be up there). So in 1969 Apollo 11 lands on the moon. Televised around the world and a day that many will never forget (until they die and how come I haven’t seen a man walk on the moon in my lifetime, or mars, or any other planet, we could do it in the 60’s but we can’t manage it in 2011!! I wanna see a man on Mars damn it!!). 

But the 1969 moon landing was just a cover-up and while Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are making leaps for man kinds, they go into a dark zone. Quickly they investigate the crash landing, finding the face of Sentinel Prime. They take pictures and samples and head back to the ship.

We LEAP forward to present day. The Autobots have adjusted well into life working with the US Government and the NEST Team. They track down Decepticons (and other terrorist) on the planet. While investigating an abandoned nuclear power plant, Major Lennox (Played by the cuttie Josh Duhamel) learns about a disaster that occurred in the Ukranian. Leading the team, Major Lennox, Optimus Prime (played by Peter Cullan) and Ratchet enter the distasted plant. Inside the plane, Optimus Prime finds fuel cells from The Ark and the evil, deadly Shockwave. Optimus and Shockwake go at it. Shockwake controls these crazy drilling robots that cut through anything and everything. The sap that lead the NEST Team and Autobots to the layer of Shockwake makes a break for it, but is justifiable killed (even if it was by a Decepticon). Narrowly defeating Shockwake, Optimus and Ratchet return to NEST HQ. Optimus is infuriated; he demands to know how the fuel cell from The Ark, lost to the Autobots long ago has come to rest on Earth. Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing steps, she informs Optimus that the cells were recovered during the 60’s mission to the moon. Pissed, that the “humans” had kept this from him, Optimus and the other Autobots take a ship to the moon to search the remains of the Ark. While there, they find a weakened Sentinel Prime and 5 metal pillars.

While all this is going on, Sam (played again by Shia LaBeouf) is dating and living with this hotty, Carly Spencer (Played by Rosie Huntington-Whitley) who he meet while receiving the Medal of Honor at the White House.

**Side Note – I don’t see why all the girls think he is hot, So not my type at all…and how does he keep getting these hot 10’s when he is seriously only a 6 maybe 6.5??**

Sam is struggling to land a job, while Carly works for a rich, hot car collector named Dylan Gould (played by Patrick Dempsey).  Sam finally get a job interview at this technology firm, which is run by this half crazy man named Bruce (played by John Malkovich). Realizing he has no other options, Sam accepts the job with the mad man and starts working in the companies mailroom (now let’s just face it, you save the world, graduate from college and end up working in a mailroom for a crazy man…that is definitely not the dream life).  Sam goes to tell Carly the good news, but not only does he find out just how close Carly is to her boss, but also just how hot and rich and hot he is.  To pour salt on an already open wound, Sam finds out that Dylan was the one who recommended him to the technology company.

Sam, completely threatened by Dylan, manages to embarrass himself even more while leaving, because his crappy little yellow car (that he is driving while Bumblebee is off saving the world) won’t start.  

**Side Note – sometimes girls like it when a guy is a little jealous or feels a little threatened, it makes them feel like the boyfriend still wants them, but over the top crazy jealous dragging you out of work and yelling at you to get into the car while you kick it because it won’t start is another thing**

Sam begins his mind numbing job, day in and day out. Not much happens, except Dylan proceeds to drive Sam crazy by giving Carly a brand new Mercedes costing $200k…making the poor boy even more jealous and threatened.

One day at work, Sam is cornered by a crazy looking co-worker named Jerry Wang (played by Ken Jeong)

**Side note – LOVE this part BTW**

Jerry follows Sam around the office and finally corners him in a bathroom stall. Jerry tells Sam that he knows who Sam really is, and he pulls out of his pants a bunch of papers, news clippings etc about the Dark Side of the Moon. He tells Sam that the Autobots are in danger. Jerry runs out of the bathroom. Sam goes back to his little death cubby and looks through the paperwork, deciding to go talk to Jerry more, he tracks down his office, but the Decepticon, Laserbeak is already there. Jerry, unable to speak with Laserbeak holding a death grip on his hand, Sam gives up. Just after closing the door, Laserbeak turns on Jerry and tosses him out the window, sending him plunging to his death. The office is up in chaos. After the half crazy boss gets things calmed down again, Sam goes over to photocopy the papers he was given. BUT the photocopier isn’t a copier, it is Laserbeak, he turns onto Sam and tries to kill him. Running for his life, Sam leaves the building.  He heads home and picks up Carly and they head to NEST HQ.

Pulling up Sam is already on the edge of a nervous breakdown, He just witnessed Jerry die, got told the Autobots are in danger and almost got cut in two by Laserbeak. Pulling up at the “Department of Health and Human Services” Sam is turned away. Sam, close to losing it goes off on the security guards. They drag him yelling from his car. Sam, calls out for Bumblebee who comes to Sam’s rescue. Sam and Carly are allowed into the facility thanks to the Autobots and Lennox, but Mearing is not happy about it. The more Sam tries to tell her something is wrong and the Autobots are in danger, the more she belittles him and sends him away. Frustrated and furious with the incompetence and close mindedness of Mearing Sam stalks out of her office.

Outside Mearing’s office, Optimus and the other Autobots have returned from their trip to the Moon.

**Side Note – they can get to the moon and back within 24 hours…shouldn’t they be sharing this technology with us? They are our friends…our alias and all. Did no one else notice this?**

Optimus lays Sentinel Prime down and using the technology, the Matrix of Leadership, Optimus brings Sentinel back from the cusp of death. Confused at first Sentinel attacks Optimus, demanding to know what happened and where the pillars are at. Mearing, fearless, steps forward and informs Sentinel that they only retrieved 5 pillars and that they have been locked up in a secure area. Sentinel is enraged; he explains to the stuck-up Mearing that the pillars can be used as a bridge between space and time. Although stuck-up, Mearing sees the danger in returning them and declines Sentinel’s request.

Knowing that danger is now afoot (awesome…I have been trying to figure out where I could use that word!) Bumblebee joins Sam and Carly. Sam, trapped in his own home and feeling useless, puts in a call to the one man he knows can help, Seymour Simmons (Played wonderfully by John Turturro). Sam and Seymour by using the information they got from Jerry, begin to see a pattern. They uncover that all the people that were involved in covering up The Ark in the 60’s are dying left and right.

Carly comes home to a house full of Autobots and strange men and freaks out on Sam. Furious that he is getting back involved with the dangerous life of the Autobots, she storms off to a party with her boss.

Upset that Carly left, but knowing they are almost at the root of the conspiracy, Sam, Simmons and Dutch (played by Alan Tudyk) meet up with some Russians, where they learn that the Russians made their own trip to the moon. While reviewing the photos, they notice that several stacks of pillars were removed from the wreckage of the ship.  Realizing that Jerry, in his mad way, was right and that the Decepticons need Sentinel to activate the pillars. Because they needed the Autobots to revive him, the Decepticons were forced to wait, patiently on earth until the Autobots discovered and revived him.

Rushing to the aid of Sentinel, Bumblebee and the other Autobots manage to save Sentinel from a Decepticon attach. Once back at the NEST, Sentinel drops the boom

**SPOILER ALERT***

Sentinel reveals that during the Great War, he realized that the Autobots would be defeated. So in order to save Cybertron, he made a deal with the devil. He sided with Megatron and the Decepticons. He turns on the Autobots and kills one of them while destroying the NEST to reclaim the five pillars and escaping.

Optimus, returns, having missed the whole betrayal. Mearing, frustrated with the situation, turns her anger to Optimus.  Optimus goes to find Sentinel, he pleads with him to stop and return to NEST with him. But Sentinel turns on him, pushes him away and activates the spacebrige bringing hundreds of Decepticons and battle fleets to earth. As each arrives they disguise themselves as cars and vanish into the night.

Sam worried about Carly’s life, same goes to Dylan’s mansion. Demanding that Carly comes with him, Dylan drops another major boom! He revels that his father was part of the NASA moon landing and had long ago sided with the Decepticons. Sam pushes Carly into her car to protect her, but it is not her car, it is Shockwave. Carly trapped inside being tortured by the vile Decepticon, Sam has no option but to agree to Dylan’s demands. Dylan gives same a watch (Decepticon in disguise) and demands that Sam find out what the Autobots plan to do.

Seeing he has no choice, Sam returns to the Autobots, where he learns that the Autobots are being sent away. Sam, arriving at the launching site, runs into his longtime friend Chief Epps (played by Tyrese Gibson).  The Autobots and Optimus appear defeated. Optimus tells Sam that they have no plans to fight back, and that they must leave. On the verge of tears, Sam says goodbye to Bumblebee.  Sam looks on as the shuttle launches into space. Looking on, Sam and the bystanders watch helplessly as the Decepticons launch missiles at the shuttle and it explodes on the edges of space.

Realizing that the Decepticons had planned this all along, Sam realizes that he must find Carly. Working with Simmons and Dutch, they track Carly to the Trump Tower in Chicago. Determined to save her, Sam heads to Chicago, along with Epps and a few retired NEST teammates.

However, Sam is not the only one heading to Chicago. Sentinel and Megatron are already there, putting the pillars into place preparing to open a time space warp and bring Cybertron to earth and turning all the humans into slave.  Having to wait for a specific time (maybe it is the location or the sun or something) Sentinel sits back to wait while the Decepticons descend upon Chicago, destroying the city and killing the citizens in a mad frenzy.

Sam, Epps and the rest of the team arrive on the outskirts of Chicago. Seeing the devastation, they realize they do not stand a chance. Suddenly the Autobots appear at the side and take down the watcher drones. Optimus reveals to Sam that they secretly hid in a rocket booster that detached from the ship before the missiles hit it, tricking the Decepticons into thinking they had destroyed them.  Sam is overwhelmed with joy.

Bumblebee and Sam join up and rescue Carly from Dylan while the rest of the Autobots and NEST ex-teammates are left to fight the Decepticons. Realizing what is going on Dylan rushes off to warn Sentinel and Megatron.  The Autobots seeing only so many hands to play begin to fight for their lives. While a war is going on, Sam, Epps, Carly and the others climb into a building to take down the main pillar. Seeing what the humans have planned, Shockwave descends upon the building cutting it in half with his drills, destroying it under the human’s feet.  

The Pillars activate…

While hell is falling down around Chicago, Lennox and the NEST team have pulled themselves together and begin the dangerous mission of hang-gliding in Squirrel suites into the city. Catching up with the humans already in the mist of things, they re-evaluate their options. Bumblebee and some of the other Autobots have been captured; and Shockwave, kills Que. Realizing they have to act fast and manages to distract the Decepticons long enough for the Autobots to get free

**Side Note: Not really sure how, or when those Autobots got captured…**

Time is running out as Cybertron begins to push its way into Earth’s atmosphere. Optimus, acting fast comes in and blows up on of the pillars causing the bridge to be temporality disabled. Sentinel, infuriated that Optimus cannot see that his is for the greater good, attacks him. Optimus and Sentinel break into a violent battle.

Looking around for something to do (besides just screaming and crying Sam every 5 seconds…remember we are not watching this movie for the wonderful script) Carly finds Megatron. She convinces Megatron that after Sentinel destroys Optimus and saves Cybertron, all the Decepticons will answer to him instead of Megatron. Megatron is filled with jealously and rushes off to find Sentinel to put him in his place.

Sam, trying to destroy the pillar is meet with Dylan’s weasel face. Dylan gets to the pillar first and reactivates it (why he wants to be a human slave I will never know, because he has to realize that the Decepticons are only using him…idiot). Cybertron once again appears in the atmosphere pulling closer and closer to Earth. Acting fast, Sam does what he should have done from day one and knocks the crap out of Dylan and pulls the pillar.

While the world is being saved by a scrawny boy, Optimus and Sentinel are still at blows. Sentinel, stronger and more powerful then Optimus cuts his arm off. Optimus falls to the ground, standing over him ready to finish him off Sentinel steps forward, but is attacked by Megatron. Megatron wants to be the savor and goes to finish Optimus, Optimus pulls his strength and rips Megatron’s head and spine right out of his body (it was pretty wicked cool). Taking no mercy, Optimus turns on a dying Sentinel and destroys him.

And life goes back to normal…lalalalal.

  

Overall, I liked it. Dialog sucked, but that is not what we went for, we went for the action and violence! YAH!! I really enjoyed the movie. So far the Transformers have not let me down yet! Not as good as Thor, but still very nice. I love the fact that all the cartoons and shows that we watched as kids are becoming movies. I guess that is what happens as our generation grows up, we have the power to turn our favorite shows into amazing, action packed movies…like the x-man! If you haven’t seen Transformers yet, take the time, go see it. Yes IT IS LONG, but it is worth it. It has it slow moments, but the action packed scenes are action packed. Next on my list is Captain America!