Horrible Bosses - The Movie (2011)

This past weekend, my friend and I went to go see Horrible Bosses. I am usually not one for spending $10 to go see a comedy movie in the theaters, let’s face it…the movie is just as funny 6 months later sitting on your couch and it only cost you half as much. It’s not like action and horror movies that really utilize the surround sound and big screens. But this one actually looked funny enough to go to the theater and watch…and we were right.

The movie begins with one of the main characters; Nick (played by Jason Bateman) arrives to his job at 6:00 am (gawd that would sux, I hate coming in at 8am). Nick rushes into the building trying desperately not to be late, but as the elevator doors close behind him, you see the clock reading 6:02, he’s late. Over the next few hours you see time fast forward around him, people coming into the office, the morning routine beginning (I am convinced this routine is the same in 99% of the offices around the world). A few hours later Nick gets called into his boss’s office. His boss Dave Harken (played by Kevin Spacey) demands to know what time Nick got into the office this morning. Nick shrugs a minute late he replies. Harken spins on him, sarcastically saying that the video cameras in the elevator must be off because it said 6:02 and since the cameras are wrong, he is going to fire the security guard for making such a grave error. Nick, in an effort to save the poor man’s job, admits to being 2 mins late. Harken relaxes and goes pours a glass of expensive scotch. He inquires if Nick wants one, and since nick is craving a promotion, he accepts. Only to discover he is drinking alone. To be polite, Nick down the full cup of scotch and leaves the office.  

Nicks boss is a: “Total Fucking Asshole”

Dale (played by Charlie Day) has a goal of being a husband, but since that doesn’t pay, he works as a dental assistant. We meet Dale as he is being dropped off at work by his fiancé Stacy and everything seems fine, until we meet Dales boss, Julia (played by Jennifer Aniston). She has it out for Dale, and not in a screw you over way, but in a screw you sexual way. Julia spends her day sexually harassing Dale and sexually harassing her unconscious male patients in front of Dale. Although one would think Dale could just quite, he can’t, he is a registered pedo for peeing in a children’s park in the middle of the night. Julia knows that he can’t leave, and takes full advantage of it.

Dale’s boss is a: “Evil Crazy Bitch”

Finally we meet Kurt (played by Jason Sudeikis) and out of the three guys, he is the only one that loves his job. He works for a great guy at a chemical company. Although Kurt loves his boss, his job and the people he works with, he despises his boss’s son, Bobby Pellitt (played by Colin Ferrell). Bobby is a spoiled rotten cocaine addict who spends all of his time at work in the bathroom doing blow. While Kurt his walking his boss out to the car, his boss tells him that one day, Kurt will take over the company. Thrilled, Kurt turns as his boss drives away, only to have a heart attack that kills him…leaving Bobby in charge.

Kurts new boss is a: “Dipshit Cockhead Son”

The three guys seem to spend their evenings trading horror stories about their bosses at a local bar. Until now, Kurt has never had a complaint about his job, but tonight is different. Kurt realizes that his company is going to go down the shitter in the hands of the idiot son. They begin contemplating quitting their jobs and looking for new ones…until an old college classmate named Kenny runs into them. Although Kenny had a great job, he lost it and has been now unemployed for 2 years. He spends his time wondering around bars and “preforming sexual acts” in the bar bathrooms, realizing that finding a new job might be harder than they expected; they decided to grin and bare it.

The next day, Nick goes into work, expecting to be promoted to the new VP of Sales. Sitting in the emergency staff meeting, he gets blindsided. Harken decided to name himself VP of Sales. Nick snaps, he tackles Harken and drags him by is tie to the window where he proceeds the throw Harken out while the man is begging for his life. Snapping back to reality Nick realizes he had been daydreaming. After the meeting Nick runs to confront Harken. Harken laughs in his face and tells Nick that he will never be promoted, angrily Nick tells Harken that he will quit, Harken calmly replies that if he did, he would blackball him in the industry. Realizing that his hands were tied, and that he is truly Harken’s bitch…Nick reluctantly backs down.

Meanwhile Kurt is having his first truly bad day with a horrible boss. After spending the morning at his old boss’s funeral, Kurt arrives to work to a coked out Bobby giving him shit for attending his father, the old bosses, funeral and being late to work. Wheeling himself back into his new office, Bobby calls for Kurt to follow. He proceeds to tell Kurt that he wants him to file all the fatties, starting with “Large Marge”. Kurt taken aback explains that she is pregnant. Bobby back downs and then tells Kurt to fire Professor X, the disabled freak in the wheelchair. Kurt again declines and Bobby tells him, either you fire one of them or I fire all of you. He then says he is going to bleed this company dry and retire on a beach with hookers and cocaine ASAP.

Dale, heads into work prepared for another day of horrible harassment, gets called into Julia’s office. Timidly walking in, Julia confronts him in nothing but a lab coat and underwear. Locking the door behind him, Julia asks him to take a seat. She apologizes for her actions and says that if he ever feels uncomfortable he should let her know. Dale just looks at her in shock. Julia then proceeds to tell him that since he is getting married soon. Dale threatens to quit, but Julia politely reminds him that he is a pedo and nobody else would ever hire him. Dale is trapped.

At the bar again, the three make a joke – wouldn’t it be easier if their bosses were dead?

The next day Dale arrives at work to see his fiancé and Julia together. Stacy explains that Julia offered to give her free dental work as a wedding gift. Dale, freaking out tries to get Stacy to go, but all his feeble attempts fail and Stacy goes into the chair. While Stacy is passed out, Julia tries to convince Dale to have sex with her on top of his passed out fiancé. Refusing, Julia shows him some dirty pictures that she took of them together when he first started and was sedated for some dental work.

Dale arrives at the house; he bursts in and declares “I’m in! Let’s kill this bitch!” The other two guys look at Dale in surprise, while Dale tells them what Julia has done. The guys look at each other and decide to do it.

Dale takes on the project of finding them a hit-man. The next day, the three guys meet in a dead-end motel. Dale has found a guy on Craigslist who offers to do “Wet Work”. Looking out the hotel window the guys really think they found the perfect man, he is well dressed looks the part. But Dale is horrible wrong. The man is offering to piss on the guys for $200. He is not a hitman he is a fetish provider. The guys give the man money for his time and leave the motel extremely quickly.

Realizing that nothing is going well, Kurt takes control of the situation. He decides the best way to find a hitman is to go to the worst part of town, so he flips on his OnStar GPS and an Indian guys named “Gregory” comes on the line. Gregory leads them to the most dangerous part of town and the three guys head into the bar. Kurt idiotically asks the bartender if he knows any killers-for-hire. The bartender turns on him, calls him a racist and picks up a baseball bat. Realizing that they should leave they rush outside, where they are stopped by Motherfucker Jones (played by Jamie Foxx). Motherfucker tells them that the just got out of the pin for doing a dime, but can still help them with their little problem for 30 large. The guys realize that is to expensive (I found this to funny…human life 10k…to much?! What is the value of a human life? We soon have our answer). Motherfucker and the guys agree on 5k and the guys set out to collect the money.

The next night the guys go back to the bar to meet Motherfucker. They hand over a briefcase with the money inside (do you have any idea how pathetic 5k looks all alone in a briefcase). Once the case was handed over, Motherfucker decides that he is going to be their “murder consultant”, upset the guys ask for their money back, but are too scared of Motherfucker to demand it so they head off to find a way to make their bosses deaths look like an accident.

**If you want to actually go and enjoy this movie now is the time to stop**

 The stakeout begins. They guy’s head over to Bobby’s house and as soon as the dipshit leaves, they break in and do they make a mess of things. Dale and Nick knock over a huge container of blow on the floor and while trying to clean it up with a vacuum, they manage to inhale a lot of it. And Dale, taking out his childish revenge puts everything in Bobby’s bathroom into his ass (including toothbrush, floss, etc) at least on the way out they managed to steal Bobby’s cell which has his schedule on it.

Next stop for our three musketeers is Harken’s house. Since Dale is all coked up, they tell him to act as a lookout and wait in the car, while the three head inside to get a better look, The house is spotless, except for a crazed cat that seems to be stalking them around the house. Kurt, being the male dog that he is finds one thing he likes in the house, a picture of Harken young attractive wife.

While inside the house, a coked out Dale eats a PB&J sandwich (not sure why someone high on blow would be eating, that is usually left for the stoners, not crack heads) Dale tosses his sandwich wrapper out the window, just as Harken is walking by and being his rude self, he picks up the wrapper and start to yell at the confused Dale. Suddenly Harken collapse in the street having a massive allergic reaction to the peanut butter. Dale, freaking out jumps out of the car and repeatedly, violently stabs Harken in the chest and neck with his epipen – saving the man they are trying to kills life.  

Kurt and Nick having witnessed this from the bedroom window, think Dale is killing Harken and they take off, leaving Dale behind.

Now they know Bobby and Harkens weakness…add some rat poison into the cocaine and put peanuts in Harkens shampoo, Kurt, being the male pig is going to take care of Julia , and does he ever. Kurt watches Julia from the car until she invites him in and they go at it like wild mice.

Nick is watching Bobby’s house, waiting for him to go out. He see Bobby messing with some hookers and figures it is going to be a bit of a wait.

Dale, back outside the Harkens house waits for them to leave…but inside harken has found Bobby’s phone, dropped by one of the brilliant three musketeers as they broke in. Harken convinced that he has found the phone belonging to his wives lover storms out of his out.

Dale seeing his chance sneaks in…

But Harken didn’t go far; he pulls up at Bobby’s house, rings the front door and as Nick sits in his car watching shoots Bobby killing him. Nike freaks out calls Dale and tells him what happened and they speeds off into traffic.

But running traffic never helps…the police flag Nick down and Dale, Nick and Kurt are taken into custody. Realizing that Kurt had left DNA all over Bobby’s apartment once released for lack of evidence the 3 men decide to get out of dodge. With no other options, the guys contact Motherfucker again, who admits that he has never killed anyone and was busted for bootlegging. Motherfucker, although not experienced in the world of murder, tells the musketeers to get Harken to confess on the record and they will be able to save their behinds.

So the idiots head back to harkens house, but unbeknownst to them, there is a surprise birthday party. Harken’s wife, rushes them into hiding for when Harken returns.

Surprised, Harken is annoyed that his wife through a party (what made her think that he would enjoy something like that is beyond me, the man is a dick), Harken goes off into his office. Dale and Nick follow him in but the male whore Kurt sneaks off to bang Harken’s wife.

  

Harken, easily confesses to murdering Bobby and then nicely asks the gentlemen to remain where they are so he can kill them next. Backing out of the room, they realize that Kurt, with the tape recorder is not there. They turn and run, out of the office and right into Kurt as he is coming out of the bathroom with Harkens wife (for being a male dog, you think he could last longer than 5 min, does he really think he got her off?!

Running to the car, Kurt calls Gregory and asks him to help them get out of town. Gregory proceeds to shut off the car and says that he can’t help fugitives. Frustrated the idiots yell at Gregory, while harkens SUV slams into them. He demands them to get out of the car and then proceeds to tell them how he is going to kill them. When the police arrive, the 3 musketeers look they it’s all over for them, until Gregory announces that he has recorded the whole conversation. Saving the boys from life in prison.

Like I said, this movie was funny enough to go see in theaters, and I do recommend it!