The Restaurant at the End of the Universe Quote - Douglas Adams

"Captain, sir!" cried Number Two - for he was their leader - "Permission to report, sir"
"Yes, Number Two, welcome back and all that. Find any hot springs?" said the Captain despondently
"No, sir!"
"Thought you wouldn't"
Number Two strode through the crowd and presented arms before the bath
"We have discovered another continent!"
"When was this?"
"It lies across the sea..." said Number Two, narrowing his eyes significantly, "to the east!"
"Ah."
Number Two turned to face the crowd. He raised his gun above his head. This is going to be great, thought the crowd.
"We have declared war on it!"
Wild abandoned cheering broke out in all corners of the clearing - this was beyond all expectations.
"Wait a minute," shouted Ford perfect. "What a minute!"
he leaped to his feet and demanded silence. After a while he got it, or at least the best silence he could hope for under the circumstances; the circumstance were that the bagpiper was spontaneously composing a national anthem.
"Do we have to have the piper?" demanded Ford.
"Oh yes," said the Captian, "we've given him a grant."
Ford considered opening this idea up for debate but quickly decided that that way madness lay. Instead he slung a well judged rock at the piper and turned to face Number Two.
"War?" he said.
"Yes!" Number Two gazed contemptuously at Ford Perfect.
"On the next continent?"
"Yes! Total warfare! The war to end all wars!"
"But there's no one even living there yet!"
Ah, interesting, thought the crowd, nice point.
Number Two's gaze hovered undisturbed. In this respect his eyes were like a couple of mosquito that hover puposefully three inches from your nose and refuse to be deflected by arm thrashes, fly swats or rolled newspapers.
"I know that," he said, "but there will be one day! So we have left an open-ended ultimatum."
"What?"
"And blown up a few military installations."
The Captain leaned forward out of his bath.
"Military installations, Number Two?" he said.
For a moment the eyes wavered.
"Yes, sir, well potential military installations. All right...trees."
The moment of uncertainty passed - his eyes flickered like whips over his audience.
"And," he roared, "we interrogated a gazelle!'