The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

I don’t know how many of you have read the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, or even seen the other versions of this movie. My mum got me the book a while ago and I could say like I do in every blog I write where the adaptation of the book is different than the movie, that the book is better. …and I could rant about how frustrating it is that they miss so many things and jump around. Just because I am not doing that for this book – to – movie adaptation, do not think I don’t want to go off on my normal rant. I do…but sometimes…like today I feel like I am preaching to an empty church. So all I am going to say is…if you haven’t read the book. Read it. It is better than the movie.

Anywho. My friend Lenny recently purchased a Kindel. I know…a little behind the times, but the man is in his 60’s and retired so the Kindel was a surprising. But one of the first books that he downloaded was the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and he loved it, so when we started seeing the previews, we knew we had to go see it. So the two of us set off for a Saturday matinee (let’s face it, movies are getting to darn expensive these days!)

The movie starts with Henrik Vanger (played by Christopher Plummer), retired CEO of Vanger Industries opening a gift on his birthday.   He has received yet another pressed flower from an anonymous sender. Placing this one among the rest (that we assume he has gotten over the years) he makes a phone call to the retired Inspector Gustaf Morell (played by Donald Sumpter).

We move from a small town to a metropolitan city. Millennium magazine co-owner Mikael Blomkvist (played very well by Daniel Craig) is being harassed by reporters and paparazzi as he lives the courthouse after losing a big libel law suit against the corrupt businessman Hans-Erik Wenneerstrom (played by Ulf Friberg)

**Side Note – I had to look up how to spell these damn names! There was no way I knew them off the top of my head, and I so didn’t feel like butchering a bunch of names!**

Going up against Wenneerstrom was a stupid move on Mikael’s behalf. Wennerstrom is rich and powerful and will dragging Wenneerstrom into court…Wennerstrom dragged Mikael’s name through the mud. He destroyed Mikael’s reputation and took all of Mikael’s life savings.  Mikael knows that there is own one way to save his company and he signs over full owner ship to his co-owner and on again off again lover (even though she is married) Erika Berger (played by Robin Wright). Erika tries to talke Mikael out of it, but they both know that if he says…Millenium is done.

Henrik Vanger’s attorney Dirch Forde (played by Steven Berkoff) arrives into the city and meets with the head of Milton Security. For the results of a background check that Milton Security has run on Mikael Blomkvist. Against the CEO of Milton Securities advice, Forde has requested that the person who did the background check to come into the office personally so he can meet her. In walks Lisbeth Salander (played by Rooney Mara). Lisbeth is a young girl in her early twenties with tattoos and piercings all over her body. Forde however is not bothered by this and proceeds to question Lisbeth on how she managed to get all of this information on Mikael, but Lisbeth is cool and collective.

A few weeks pass and it is Christmas eve, Mikael is celebrating the holidays with his loved ones (including his lover and his lovers husband) when he receives a unexpected phone call from Frode, telling him that he has a job from him and asking him to come to Hedeby Island to meet with Henrik Vanger himself. At first Mikael refuse saying it is the holidays, but he quickly realizes that he doesn’t have many job opportunities knocking down his door and agrees to drive up and meet with Vanger.

The drive to the small Island town is calm, but once Mikael arrives things quickly turn. Henrik tells Mikael that he would like to hire him to investigate a 40 year old cold case, his niece, Harriet Vanger who disappeared from the island. Henrik is convinced that Harriet was murdered, he needs closure. Before she died, Harriet would always give Henrik a pressed flower for his birthday…a tradition that he is being spited by whoever murdered her by continuing to send him flowers on his birthday to this day. Henrik is convinced that someone inside the family murdered Harriett. Mikael listens to the requests and is cautious, the case is 40 years old and he knows he is not an investigator, but Henrik is offering to much money and Mikael agrees to stay in a cottage on the island under the pretense of writing a biography about Henrik and his life. In addition to the very substantial sum of money that Henrik is offering, he also offers Mikael revenge. He claims to have incriminating evidence on Wennerstrom that would take that old man down. Eager for the money and the revenge, Mikael waste no time getting started. 

Lisbeth although a genius in her own right is a ward of the state.

**Side Note - Guess that is one of the reasons they gave her all tattoos and stuff…make her seem more like a rebellious teenager or something, anger at the gov’t**

Anyway…she goes over to her guardian’s house, this old man, only to realize that he has had a massive stroke. She calls the police, but with her ward in the hospital, the state moves her guardianship to someone else. That someone else is a lawyer by the name of Nils Bjurman (played by Yorick Van Wageningen). Now Nils is one sick puppy…or should I say sick dog.  He takes control of her money, when she asks for some money to pay her bills, he forcers her to suck his penis. Afterwards he polite explains that if she doesn’t do what he asks, he will have her labeled incompetent and locked way for the rest of her life.  Discussed she leaves, furious at what she had to do and pissed as hell at him for making her do it!!!

 Lisbeth is not a simple cookie and she devises a way to get payback. A few nights later she shows up at Nils apartment. She says she has run out of money again. Nils politely invites her into the house and leads her back to the bedroom. Lisbeth puts her book-bag down on a chair and while Nils is in the bathroom, she adjusts it so that it is facing the bed. Nils walks back out and suddenly he is on top of her. He knocks her unconscious and by the time she comes too again the sick freak has her tied to the bed spread eagle. Seeing her eyes open Nils leans forward pulls her shirt up over her head and rips her pants down her. He forces himself on her and rapes her while she screams out in pain and agony. Like I said…sick freak! But Nils is unaware of what our little tattooed genius has done…recorded the entire thing from a camera in her book-bag.  After Nils is done he gives Lisbeth a check for 10k and sends her on her way.

Over this time, Mikael had made himself somewhat at home in the run down cottage on the island. Although Henrik has invited Mikael onto the island, the rest of the family is extremely standoffish and he soon realizes that it is not only a cold case he has to solve, but what is going on with this dysfunctional family. Every single family member on the island either hate, doesn’t speak to or is work against another family member.  Mothers not talking to kids, kids not talking to parents and brother and sisters not hating each other for years. None of them are responsive to Mikael’s questions, especially when he brings up Harriett and the past.

**And they say only poor people can have crazy dysfunctional homes!! HA**

Mikael starts to go through Harriets old things and he comes across a list of names and numbers.  Unable to figure out what the significance of this is, he calls the retired chief investigator who tells him that the number are phone numbers, but they ran that lead down and nothing came of it. Mikael doesn’t quite believe this, but he lets it drop…until his religious daughter comes to visit and she asks him why he has bible verse written out next to people’s names.

After his kid leaves, Mikael begins to look it up and finds that each verse from the bible describes a different method of killing someone for a specific sin.

**Isn’t religion grand…you can really see how it is all about the forgiveness there. **

Lisbeth isn’t taking the rape well, the poor outcast dysfunctional unloved girl is already messed up enough, but this has pushed her over the edge. She goes back to Nils house, but this time with a plan in mind. She knocks on his door and as soon as he opens it she steps in and tazers the living crap out of him. Like HARD CORE! He falls to the ground passed out. Lisbeth drags him down to his bedroom while he wets himself after losing control of his body functions and she ties him up at the foot of his own bed. Sitting on his chest she smacks him away. Calmly (and a little crazy like) Lisbeth explains to the pig that the other night she had just expected him to force her to give him a blow job again, and she had come prepared…she had recorded it…and instead of recording a forced blow job, she had gotten rap. Now if he ever wanted to stay out of jail, send her to jail, try to force her to do anything like that again, or try to have her labeled legally incompetent…the contents of that video would leak all over the web! Realizing that he is trapped he begins to beg, but she doesn’t listen. Instead she pulls out a tattoo gun and writes on his chest I AM A RAPIST PIG across it…and then she sticks a lamp up his ass. Justice is served.

Mikael is infatuated with the mystery. He believes he has found the trail of a serial killer who is using god to back up his crimes. However Henrik has fallen ill and Frode and Martin Vanger (played by Stellan Skarsgaard) Henriks nephew & current CEO of Vanger Industries have taken over things. Frode suggests that Mikael leaves the case and goes home, but Martin is convinced that his uncle would have wanted Mikael to keep going. Mikael requests a research assistant to help him and Frode knows just the girl for the job. He recommends Lisbeth and tells Mikael that she did a background check on Mikael before they hired him. Shocked Mikael asks to see the results, he realizes that Lisbeth hacked his computer but sees her talent and goes to offer her a job.

Lisbeth still reeling from the rape has thrown herself into drugs and sex. She doesn’t want to come up for air and has no reason to…until Mikael knocks on her door. At first she believes he has come to hurt her since she did hack into his computer, but Mikael explains that he wants her help. He would like to hire her as an assistant to find a serial killer targeting woman. Well considering she had just been raped by a freaking pig….she agrees….heck wouldn’t any woman asked at that moment in their life! Lisbeth tells him she will meet him at the cottage.

Back on the island, Mikael is spending more time trying to figure out what happened to this family to make them so dysfunctional and what happened to Harriet. While out exploring one of the last places that Harriet was seen alive a hidden gunman sends a shot roaring by Mikaels head. He realizes his life is in danger and that the murder is still here…living on the island after all these years. He hurries back to the house to find that Lisbeth has already arrived and has begun to make herself at home. She has put up surveillance cameras and hooked up to a high power wi-fi…along with doing a bunch of other IT tech stuff to make computers and hacking easier.  

Mikael welcomes Lisbeth into the home, and gives her the couch, but this doesn’t last long. Lisbeth, intrigued by this man…who doesn’t seem to want to rape her or hurt her strips down and seduces him.

But Lisbeth and Mikael don’t spend all their time in bed, they begin to dig deeper into the murder/disappearance of Harriet and the murder of the other woman from around the area. Mikael and Lisbeth come across some old photos of the last days of Harriet’s life. She is attending a parade, but unlike the on-lookers around her, she is looking as something that frightens her. Mikael tracks down a woman who had taken some picture son that day and finds out that Harriet was watching a man across the street, a man that Mikael now believes is the killer.

The time has come for them to dig even deeper into the financial and corporate history of the company. Mikael asks Martian for access and soon Lisbeth uncovers a corrupt connection between the company and murders not just on the island, but all over the world dating back to the early 1940’s. In every town there is a Vanger….a woman is murdered.  

So I am going to stop relating the story here.  As the plot unfolds you don’t see all the twists and turns, but the murderer is slowly revealed and when it hits you, you ask yourself…how did I not see that coming!  If you have or have not read the books or see the original movie, this one is still worth watching. I hate to give away the ending to those who have not seen it and for those of you who have read/watched it, you already know.

But I must say that I am not a fan of Mikael. I think he is a dog, like most men and used Lisbeth, this poor broken girl in a despicable way.

Overall, I am glad I went to see this movie, but it was really strange sitting in a mid-day matinee surrounded by a bunch of blue hairs while a young woman is raped on the big screen. Made me just a little uncomfortable.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

While my mum was in town over the holidays we went to go see Sherlock Holmes with my friend Jeanette.  My mum had been looking forward to this movie for a while; we went to see the first Sherlock Holmes (2009) together, so it seemed right to see the second one together.  Many people did like the first one, and those people did not like the second, but both my mum and I really enjoyed it.

Personally I am a huge fan of Robert Downey Jr. Talk about an actor who was down on his luck and pretty much gone from the Silver Screen, that man came back with a vengeance and is now is pretty much everything. He is a wonderful actor and he is doing so very well.

But back to the story…Sherlock Holmes (played by Robert Downey Jr.) has become obsessed with Professor Moriarty (played by Jared Harris). He has basically hidden himself away in his house, drinking himself to death as he investigated seemingly unrelated crimes all across Europe convinced that they all lead back to his arch enemy Professor Moriarty.

Sherlock has become not only obsessed with Moriarty, but he is also still infatuated with Irena Adler (played by Rachel McAdams) who he has continued to maintain a relationship with, even though she is a criminal and works for Moriarty. Personally, I believe that not only is he in love with her, be he believes that through her…he will find Moriarty.

The movie begins with Holmes following Adler. He follows her to a funeral, where unbeknownst to her, Moriarty has set a death trap for an old man and anyone else who happens to be in the vicinity.  Holmes manages to rescue an old man from an explosion, only to find that Moriarty had sent backup to poison him if Adler failed.  

Moriarty has become frustrated with Adler and her continued feelings for Holmes; Moriarty requests a meeting with Adler. Selecting her favorite restaurant Adler agrees, taking precautions knowing she cannot trust Moriarty. But Moriarty has already decided Adler’s fate and even with all of her precautions, Moriarty poisons Adler in the middle of a restaurant…which, unbeknownst to Adler, he has strategically filled with his own minions.

Although Dr. Watson (played by Jude Law) has always been Holmes sidekick in solving crimes, he has taken a new direction in life. He is now engaged to be married to Mary (played by Kelly Reilly) and Holmes is not taking the news as well as a best man should. Instead he is ignoring the fact that the wedding is just a few days away and instead continuing to focus all his attention on Moriarty. 

When Dr. Watson and Holmes arrive at Watson’s stag party, Watson is furious when he realizes that Holmes didn’t invite any of his friends. The only person Holmes did invite was his own brother Mycroft (played by Stephen Fry). Determined to have a good time regardless Dr. Watson storms off and joins in on a nearby Poker game.  Holmes on the other hand didn’t not pick this location by chance, he is in fact trying to locate a gypsy names Sim (played by Noomi Rapace) who he believes is somehow connected with Moriarty.

Holmes arrives just in time and manages to save Sim from an assassin…although he does get his butt kicked pretty badly in the process.  But even though the fight and the heavy night of drinking, both Holmes and Watson make it to the church with no time to spare…and Watson gets married and heads off for his honeymoon with his new wife.

Side note: although the movie does seem slow at times, the fight scenes are really fast paced and very good in this movie.

Becoming annoyed with Holmes and his constant interrogation of his associates, Moriarty finally meets with Holmes. He warns him (in such a savvy sophisticated way) that if he continues to investigate him, he will have to start to target those closest to Holmes, his best friend and constant companion, Dr. Watson.

Realizing that he has but his best friend and his best friend’s wife in jeopardy, Holmes stows away on the train alongside Watson and Mary and just in time. Watson and his new wife are attacked, and Holmes steps in to the rescue. Knowing there is only one way to keep Mary from harm’s way. Holmes knocks Mary off the train into the river below. She is picked up by Mycroft and taken to safety. Enraged by Holmes pushing is new wife off a moving train and convinced that this is all Holmes fault between fighting for their lives, Holmes and Watson argue over what is going on.

The two men manage to fight off the attackers and arrive in France. Holmes and Watson track down the gypsy to find out more about her brother Rene. Holmes believes that Moriarty is targeting her because of her brother and believes her to be a loose end in his ultimate plan. Sim only agrees to talk with the men because Holmes saved her life. She is convinced that her brother would not work with Moriarty but she agrees to help them. She takes them to a hideout where a local rebel organization that Sim and her brother were working with is located. She explains to Holmes and Watson that she and her brother left the organization once serious violence started to be done. She claims that her brother would never go back to work with the group.

Walking around the hideout, Holmes realizes that Moriarty was in fact working with this group and he has used them to build a bomb he believes is designed to take out an opera house in the middle of the city. Holmes is not the only one to realize the organization has been used and set up as the fall guys, the leader of his group confesses what he has done in working with Moriarty to Sim and then he takes his own life.

Holmes, Watson and Sim rush to the Opera house only to realize that Holmes was wrong. Moriarty tricked him and he blows up a hotel instead. A hotel full of powerful leaders in the midst of a peace treaty that would end war across Europe for decades!

As the rubble clears, Holmes and Watson sneak in to inspect the bodies. Holmes notices that the bomb was actually just a cover for Moriarty’s gunmen and left hand man, Colonel Sebastian Moran (played by Paul Anderson). Moran had only had one mission…to kill one specific party member, the owner of a large arms factory in Germany, and Moriarty had recently purchased a large number of shares.

Curious as to why Moriarty had wanted to kill this man Homs and Watson do a little digging and realize the man was in fact an arms factory owner in Germany and Moriarty had recently purchased a majority investment in the company.

Living Sim behind, Watson and Holmes head to Germany to investigate what Moriarty’s end game is. Watson and Holmes get separated at the factory and Holmes is captured and taken to Moriarty. In the standard “Bad Guy Speech” Moriarty reveals that he plans to start a World War, which will ultimately increase the demands for products that his companies make…making him extremely rich.

**Side Note – Really!? Really?! Start a World War to sell your guns. This dude is seriously wacked out of his mind and should have just been put down like a mad cow there and then…but the movie needed to go on**

 Watson has a Texan standoff with Colonel Sebastian Moran and manages to keep the crazy sniper at bay until he can rescue Holmes and the two escape the factory and Holmes announces they are going to the Peace Summit.

At the summit with Mycroft, Holmes realizes that Sim’s brother, Rene, is no longer wearing his own face, but has actually undergone an experimental surgery that changed his appearance. Knowing that Rene could be anyone, Watson and Sim walk around looking at all the party guests while Holmes goes off to play a deadly game of chess with Moriarty.

I am going to stop here, so you can go see the rest of the movie for yourself and find out how it ends. No spoiler alert this time.

I really did enjoy this movie and so did my mum.  I think this movie makes you think and it has a lot of twists and turns. Keeping you on your toes and wondering what is going to happen next. I am not sure that I enjoyed it as much as the first one, but I would not be upset if they make a 3^rd.

Immortals (Movie 2011)

A few weeks ago I went to go see Immortals, not just once but twice (because it was that good!) The first time I went to go see it 2D with my friend, and the second time I went with my dad and saw it in 3D. First comment – besides the KICK ASS fight seen between the Gods and the Titans at the end, there is really no need to pay the extra $5 (or in some cases $10) for 3D. You can just save that money for popcorn, trust me!

The story begins when the world was ruled by the gods and Titans.  Man was living side by side with the gods accepting that the gods would come down and interfere in their lives.

As time passed, the gods realized that although they were immortal they could die and this realization lead to violence and a huge battle broke out between the gods and Titans. During the battle the mightiest of all weapons was lost, the Bow of Epirus which could shoot unstoppable arrows at unbelievable speeds. Although a tragic lose, the gods still came out victorious and imprisoned the Titans under Mt. Tartarus and took their place on top of Mount Olympus watching time slip by.

Centuries pass and the gods watch as man grows and builds cities, evolving and spreading out across the country. Always watching, but never again interfering. Too many times had the gods gone to earth and changed the outcomes of situations, slept with human woman who then gave birth to demi-gods (such as Hercules). Now the gods agreed to stand aside and let man make their own choices.

Over time, King Hyperion (played amazingly by Mickey Rourke) has become a powerful man. He holds a deep seeded grudge against the gods who did not step in and save his wife and child as they slowly died to a nasty disease. Realizing that the gods no longer played a role in the lives of men or answered prayers, King Hyperion starts a mission to recover the Bow of Epirus and free the Titans so that they can destroy the gods who did nothing to save his family. Fueled by vengous, nothing can stop him.

This time is not only ruled by Kings and gods, but predictions from the virgin oracles are relied upon. One virgin oracle knows as Phaedra (played by Freida Pinto) foresees the future of King Hyperion and the Bow of Epirus, she sees Hyperion free the Titans and realizes that he is coming for her. Surrounded by her attendants, the four woman realize they have no choice but to try and flee before Hyperion arrives to keep the Phaedra safe.

**Side note – I like Freida Pinto, she is a beautiful woman, but I must say, her talent was completely wasted in Rise of the Apes. If her acting skill was looked upon only from that movie, you would think she was crap. Her character in Rise of the Apes, unlike in this movie, had no depth and was just a filler and the movie could have moved along fine without her. It was nice to see her have such a nice come back in this movie. But really, her agent should be pissed about the Rise of the Apes role. Such crap!**

The oracle and her protectors just have time to flee to safety as King Hyperion and his hundreds of thousands of men flood into the Sybelline Monastery imprisoning all who are in it and lay waste to every village in the area. Killing the pregnant woman and children and removing (very brutally) the manhood of the men.

In a remote ocean side village a few days ride from the Sybelline Monastery is a young attractive bastard man known as Theseus (played oh so well by the drop dead gorgeous Henry Cavil). Theseus is an only child of an unwed woman who was raped so within the village Theseus and his mother are looked upon as outcasts. Only one old man (played by John Hurt) has taken Theseus under his wing and trained him since a child in the ways of military battle. The old man has guided Theseus as he has grown to look upon the world with compassion as protect those who need it.

As word spreads to the village that the Hyperion army is only days away, the military trained men of the village take up arms and prepare to ride out to meet the army and protect the village. Theseus wanting to help protect his people, tries to get his mother in the first wave of refuges leaving the village, but he is laughed at. Lysander (played by Joseph Morgan) begins a fight with Theseus, thinking Theseus is just a humble slave. Theseus through all his years of training with the old man stands up and not only takes out Lysander but holds at bay 3 other soldiers until the captain steps in and stops them.  The Captain, seeing Theseus potential as a soldier offers him the opportunity to join his army. Theseus disgusted by how they treated his mother refuses and storms. The Captain then turns on Lysander, telling him to hand over his weapons and informs him that he will be saying behind tomorrow to help protect the slaves.

Later that night, the Old Man walks alone in the village. Suddenly he stops, he turns and calls out. No one appears. As if watching a dream, the Old Man form drops to reveal that of Zeus (played by Luke Evans – also yummy!). Zeus turns on the night and demands whoever is hidden there to reveal themselves. Athena (played by Isabel Lucas) steps out from her hiding place. She turns to her father and begs him to leave the boy, unable to understand why Zeus has taken such a liking to this young man while he refuses to show the same compassion towards his own children…towards her.  Zeus tries to explain to Athena, that he is not controlling Theseus but guiding him, because he will one day lead his people to victory. Unable to sway him Athena leaves and the Old Man is once again left alone in the village. 

But that is not the only thing happening that night. High in the tower two soldiers stand guard over the village looking out for Hyperion’s army.  Lysander joins the two guards speaking about how they have no chance against Hyperion’s army, he turns and kills both of the guards before they can set off the alarm. Lysander, a weak traitor runs to Hyperion at the Monastery and begs to join his army. Hyperion, humored by the weak Lysander accepts his oath of loyalty on one condition. Hyperion wants to spread his seed across the world, he wants generations to look upon the faces of their loved ones and see his resemblance, so in order to join Hyperion’s army…Lysander is de-manned (literally – the Minotaur the most feared of Hyperion’s minions [played by Robert Maillet] takes a huge sledge-like-hammer and with full force blows it into Lysander’s testacies and penis. Every man in the theater groaned and cried out with a shared agony that I cannot fully understand). The Minotaur not only de-man Lysander, but he also de-figures his face and forces him (like everyone in his army) to wear a mask.

Hyperion’s men spread out and come across Theseus’ village. While Theseus returning from a day of training along the rocks he hears the screams in the distance. Running towards his home he witnesses Hyperion slit his mother’s throat in front of him as he is held back, helpless to stop the blood flowing out of her neck and down her chest. Hope and determination leave Theseus as Hyperion condemns him to work until he dies in the salt fields.

Time passes – not sure how much really and the Hyperion’s soldiers that guard the salt field works somehow have come across the Oracle and her 3 protectors and they are also in the encampment before being sent back to the Monetary to face Hyperion.  After a long day in the fields, the prisoners come back to the building. Rushing to the water, all but Theseus drink up the cool liquid as the masked Oracle and her protectors walk into the court yard to drink. As she passes Theseus her foot touches his and she has a prediction. She sees him embracing Hyperion and holding the bow, she knows he must survive because he has an important role yet to play. She goes to the pool and taking water into her mouth she goes to Theseus and gives him water to drink.

The Oracle, knowing that they must escape sets a plan in motion. The 4 woman lure the guards into their room and proceed to kill them. As more men rush past the slaves to see what is going on the slaves (and Theseus) attack them. Only 3 slaves, a monk and the Oracle manage to escape into the night.

Watching from Mount Olympus, the gods are frustrated with Zeus for forcing them to stand on the sidelines while the humans dig themselves deeper and deeper into a hole. But Zeus reminds them, any god caught interfering in the affairs of the humans will be killed and any god appearing in their true form to a human will be killed.  Angry they sit back and watch as the humans continue to make mistakes

The head towards the port, the escapees: Stavros the thief (played by Steven Dorff), Daerios the solider (played by Alan Van Spring), Phaedra, one monk (played by Greg Bryk) and Theseus quickly realize that if they stick together they have a better chance of survival.

Meanwhile, the remaining 3 protectors of the Oracle are brought before Hyperion. He looks upon them and demands to know which one of them is the true Oracle. But their bonds of sisterhood are stronger than anything and with all 3 proclaim that they are the true Oracle, Hyperion’s hands are tied and he cannot kill any in fear that he may kill the real one. Until one of the soldiers lets slip that one of the Oracles escaped. Furious, Hyperion sends some of his soldiers to cut the small group of escapees off at the port and sends the 3 protectors to the bull (a horrendous torture device. A huge metal bull over a fire which when its victims are put into his hot belly burn alive as everything they touch inside the metal bull is scorching hot).

Arriving at the sea black with oil, they see a supply boat coming in. Theseus, who has taken leadership of the small group of outlaws, leads them down to the port. They easily kill the few soldiers, but it was a trap, Hyperion had guessed their move and more soldiers came flooding out from the underground storage unit. They corner the small group in the back of the boat and they have no chance of surviving.

Unable to sit aside anymore, Poseidon (played by Kellan Lutz) looks to Athena. She gives him an reassuring nod as he leaps off the Mountain and plunges down, trident held ahead of him, into the sea of oil. A huge wave wipes up and head straight for the small boat.  Remembering the wave from one of her visions, Phaedra tells them to stand strong. At the last moment the small group leaps to safety as Hyperion’s men are cared off into the sea.

Theseus realizes that he must go home and he must bury his mother, even if he does not believe in the gods, his mother did and he must respect that. The small group head to his village.

Hyperion, furious to hear that he was outmaneuvered at the port, he sends the Minotaur and a few soldiers to intercept them at Theseus’ village.

Theseus and the group make it to his village, he takes his mother deep into the labyrinth and lays her to rest. However while putting her body into the crypt he hits a metal object, unable to push his mother’s body in, he begins to dig the object out of the way. Low and behold, it is the Bow of Epirus. Turning to leave the labyrinth, he comes face to face with the Minotaur, Hyperion’s men have found them.

Theseus barely manages to survive as the Minotaur poisoned him, but he manages to kill the beast by beheading it. He finds his way back out of the labyrinth, just in time to save Phaedra, the monk and Stavros. As Theseus stagers to back to the village, he collapse, and Phaedra cares for him. Upon his recovery, the Virgin Oracle tells Theseus that she no long wishes to have the visions and Phaedra makes love to Theseus…losing her virginity and her gift.

The small groups of survivors make their way to the Monastery only to discover that it is a trap laid by Hyperion. Thankfully the gods come to their aid (Ares and Athena), however, Zeus comes down from Mount Olympus and scolds Ares and Athena…Zeus in his rage kills Apollo.  But the rescue came too late and a Jackal steals the Bow of Epirus from Thesus and takes it to Hyperion.

Now Hyperion has the bow…but Thesus’ encounter with the gods has made him a true believer.

The small group realize that with the bow, Hyperion is next to unstoppable, riding on two horse provided by Athena to join the last stand against Hyperion and his overwhelming forces. Arriving at the wall, Thesus tries desperately to convince the king that Hyperion has the Bow of Epirus and that they are in trouble, but the King, bind to the truth refuse to listen.

A battle occurs, thanks to the Kings stupidity, and Thesus leads the solider into battle. Hyperion uses the battle to slip into the Titans prion and he uses the bow to free them.  Realizing what Hyperion is up to, Thesus and Stavros rush to intervene, but they are too late. Stravos manages to retrieve the bow and throw it to Thesus before the Titans devour him, but Thesus stands not chance against the creatures from time long lost.

Suddenly the gods arrive from Mount Olympus ready to stop the Titans in their tracks, and while a war is going on outside Mt. Tartarus a battle between the gods and Titans is raging inside.

This movie was excellent. I don’t want to tell any more…I feel like people should go to this movie. It is worth seeing. I went to see it twice and loved it.  

I watched it in both 3D and 2D and honestly, save your money…the 2D is just as good. There are only a FEW scenes where you go…neat. But thing that is worth spending the extra money.

Real Steel (2011)

Last week I went to go see Real Steel with my friend. It had been a few weeks since my last movie adventure, so I was looking forward to being transported for a few hours into another realm. Although Real Steel was not my first choice, to be honest the previews left little desire, I was not disappointed in the end. I was actually quite surprised with this movie and truly did enjoy it. I even recommend it to a few or my co-workers who have kids.

The movie starts with Charlie (played surprising well by Hugh Jackman) driving out to BFE where he has scheduled a fight between his old robot, named Ambush, and a 800 lb bull (who actually ends up being around a 2k lb bull). We learn very quickly on that Charlie is deep financial trouble and owes at least 2 loan sharks around 30k each, this is why Charlie has agreed to this unorthodox fight between his robot and a bull. When Charlie arrives at the fight, he is outraged when he sees the 2k bull and tries to complain to manager/owner of the bull fighting ring and ex-rival Ricky (played by Kevin Durand) but Ricky tells him if he wants to get paid his robot has to fight. Realizing that he has no other option, Charlie agrees to the match. Seeing a chance to make more money from the fight, Charlie bets Ricky 10k winner takes all. Ricky laughs and agrees with a sweet reminder that if he doesn’t get his winnings he will beat Charlie within an inch of his life.

The fight begins and Ambush (Charlie) hauls off and clocks the bull, making you think that the match will be over quickly.

**Side Note – after watching him hit the poor bull, I no longer felt sorry for Charlie and the crap he was in, seriously, who hits a bull and thinks its ok. It a freaking animal! Hit a person, fine, they know what they are getting into the ring for, but a bull. Sick and as I said already, unorthodox.**

Charlie, thinking he is the shiznet, starts to flirt with some cute girls in the stand (idiot men) and the bull, pissed off after being hit by a freaking robot turns and charges the robot from behind, taking one of Ambushes legs. Charlie, now realizing that he is about to lose the fight, his robot and the money that he desperately needs in order to keep his legs tries in vain to lead Ambush to a victory on one leg, but he quickly sees his hobs dash as the bull sticks Ambush cutting the robot into two.  

Knowing he doesn’t have the money to pay Ricky, Charlie hurries to leave. Dragging the mangled remains of Ambush back to his huge-ass truck, Charlie runs into two well-dressed men who inform him that his ex-girlfriend/wife (not really sure which) has died in a car accident and his son Max (played by Dakota Goyo) according to Texas law must be turned over to his father. However, Max’s aunt (played by Hope Davis) has offered to take full custody of Max if Charlie just signs the kid over.

Having no need or desire for a little kid dragging him down, Charlie goes to sign the paperwork. While in the courtroom, he realizes that Max’s aunt is married to a VERY rich man, and Charlie makes a deal with the rich old hubby (played by James Rebhorn) to agree to sign Max over for $100,000. The rich hubby agrees on one condition…Charlie keeps Max for the summer, Charlie agrees and hubby gives Charlie 50K up front and agrees to give him the rest after the summer. Charlie, ignoring the fact that he owes multiple people large sums of money, immediately spends the first 50K buying an old champion known as Nosiy Boy and has it delivered to the gym that his ex-girlfriend/girlfriend Baliey (played by Evangeline Lilly) took over after her father (and Charlie’s old boxing coach). We soon realize that Max also has a thing for the fighting robots, and the story involves, as we all know the father will fall for his son.

Thinking he will get his money back right away, Charlie doesn’t takes Max’s or Balieys advice and work with the robot to learn his combos and fighting technique. Instead, Charlie immediately take Max (through Max bribing him to let him come along) and Nosiy Boy to flight. Thanks to Nosiy Boy’s reputation and Charlie’s relationship with the ring owner, Finn, Charlie manages to get the top fight against Midas (one bad as bot) and Charlie manages to lose everything. The flight to the death destroys Nosiy Boy in less than 24 hours.

In an attempt to recoup some of his losses, Charlie takes Max to a bot junkyard, it is a sad sight. Old robots tossed aside after being uses up, abused and discarded. While Charlie tries to score enough parts to fix up some old robot…just so he can get enough money to get a new bot, Max falls off the edge of a cliff and plummets down into the dark…robot part filled cavern below. (Good job dead beat dad for keeping an eye on your kid). Luckily for Max (and because that would have been a horrible ending to a Disney movie) his jacket is caught on the arm of a buried robot. Thrilled with his discovery, Max begs Charlie to help him recover the bot, but Charlie…selfish and a man, doesn’t see the financial gain and leaves Max to spend the night in the rain digging up the bot alone…which he does.

Max and Charlie get to the gym and surprisingly Baliey manages to get the robot rebooted and they quickly realize that although not a actually fighting bot, this generation one sparring bot has a rare(advanced for the bots time) Shadow Function. The Sparring bot was designed to help fighting bots train, it can take an insane amount of beating and can mimic (shadow) moves from the other bots to help it train, but it can’t fight itself. But this doesn’t deter Max, who is convinced that the Sparring bot…named Atom, can fight. Max is infatuated with his new bot and quickly adopts it as a friend (makes you wonder how lonely this kid must have been).

After enduring endless begging from Max, Charlie agrees to take Atom and Sam to “The Zoo” which is an underground, no-rules fighting ring for Atom’s first fight. Max, confident in Atom and ignoring Charlie completely makes a huge bet against the crazy punk rocker ring-leader for 1K, winner takes all. Unable to pass up a punk kid and a sparring bot, the ring leader takes the bet and proceeds to have his robot beat down. Max, thrilled with himself takes the money…while talking smack…and they leave. While heading out, a man comes to them and asks them if Atom would like to do another fight. We see a light at the end of the tunnel for Charlie and his financial crisis.

The next morning Max and Atom are still up for the night before.

**Side Note – Charlie has introduced Max to energy drinks and crap food and the kid is so wired on caffeine that sleep is only something Max can day dream about at this point**

Max has been trying to teach Atom how to box. But after hours of training, Max has a little fun with Atom’s shadow function and the two of them break it down (in a VERY white boy way) to Eminem (I think, I am not sure…but it was something good).

**Side Note – yes I know another one so soon, but the album to this movie is WICKED good! The music seriously was kick ass!**

Charlie at this point walks out and see the two of them dancing (white boy dancing). Charlie agrees to teach Atom to fight if Max agrees to “dance” with Atom before the fights. Max agrees.  But Max didn’t spend all night dancing, he has also taken the speech functions out of Nosiy Boy and installed them into Atom. (Seriously, this kid is a freaking electronic genius or something, because that is some pretty spiffy stuff). And so Atom begins to rise as a star, Dancing with Max before every fight and training with Charlie every day. Slowly, Charlie starts to save up money to pay off his debt  (he sends Baily passed rent with interest) and Max works to make Atom better and better. 

Max and Charlie get there first shot at the big WRB (the Robot Boxing league) when Atom is invited to fight against Twin City (an Asian Robot with two heads…one for each of the creepy twin Asian controllers). Thrilled to get into the big leagues Charlie and Max take the fight, but it is not as easy as the underground matches and Atom is beat into a corner. Charlie suddenly sees Twin City’s weakness and beats the two headed bot down!!!  Seeing his change, Max grabs the mic and challenges the #1 Bot in the World Zeus to a duel. This does not please Zeus owners.

Now Zeus is one bad as bot. There is a reason he is number one. He was designed, paid for and built to be the best fighter. He was built by Tak Mashido a retired bot designer who not only built the champion Noisy Boy, but was commissioned for one final project…Zeus. Zeus has never lost a fight; in fact no bot has ever passed the second round with Zeus. His programming (specially developed by Tak Mashido) allows him to analyze and predict bot fighting patterns makes him unstoppable. So being challenged by a little kid and a sparring bot is pretty embarrassing, and also pretty stupid on the kids side.

Upon leaving their fight with Twin City, Charlie run’s into his old buddy from the County Fair, Ricky, who beats the crap out of Charlie (as he promised he would) and steals Max’s money. Realizing the danger that he has put Max in, Charlie quickly takes Max back to his Aunt. Old hubby, pleased that Charlie kept his part of the deal, try to give him the other 50K, which Charlie refuses.

**Side Note – at this point in time, Charlie really should have just taken the money. He really needed to pay some people off, before he was just beat to an inch of his life, but beaten to death, but something about pride and what not….stupid shit, pride ain’t gonna do you a damn thing when you’re dead**

Max is pissed to be back at home, and begs Charlie to let him stay with him, but Charlie refuses…seeing the error of his ways and so on J

Some time passes and all of a sudden a message comes down from Mount Olympus, Zeus has agreed to the fight. Unbelieving, Charlie rushes to Max. He apologizes (in a very bad way) to Max’s aunt and asks if Max can come for one night as Atom v/s Zeus. She reluctantly agrees.  

Max and Charlie are so ready, but before the fight, the get an invitation to Mount Olympus. Zeus hot ass owner tries to buy Atom from Max and Charlie for 200K (or some huge number), Charlie ready to leap at this chance, Max refuse, truly believing that Atom has a chance against the god of gods.

The bell rings, and no one expect Atom to even survive the first round with Zeus and bets are flying. We see Ricky go and make a bet 5 to 1 against with Charlie’s old buddy, Finn. But instead of making the bet and leaving, Ricky proceeds to be a racist dick to Finn.  

**Side Note – I just wanted to reach into the screen and strangle Ricky…such a prat?**

Atom is almost KO’d by Zeus as soon as the bell rings. But Atom struggles up and continues to fight again and again being knocked down by the god, but surprising everyone Atom makes it past the first and second and third round. By the fourth round everyone is surprised that this little sparring bot is holding his own against Zeus. Both bots are taking some amazing hits. The crowed is seriously going wild, you see both Max’s aunt and uncle and Baily in the crowd. Suddenly Atoms voice recognition software gets destroyed by one enormous blow from Zeus. Just then the bell rings….end of the fourth round.  Realizing that they can no longer tell Atom what to do, the only way to continue and complete the fight is for Atom to shadow box with Charlie. Max changes out the programing quickly and the last round begins. Charlie begins to fight, and the shadow boxing is allowing Atom to move faster than before and new non-standard bot moves that Charlie has taught Atom through their time together. Atom backed into a corner takes a heavy heavy beating from Zeus. Max screams at Charlie to do something, but Charlie has seen Zeus weak spot and is waiting for his moment. Meanwhile, all is not calm on Mount Olympus, Zeus is overloading, and about to crash. Tak is freaking out, seeing his bot about to crash in the middle of the most wildly watched bot fight in the world. He runs down and takes control of the robot himself…and this is not missed by the reporters. Who zoom the cameras in on Tak pushing the controllers out of the way and taking the seat himself. But Charlie is in the rhythm fighting Zeus alongside Atom. The crowd is going wild. Charlie starts to back Zeus into a corner, about to deliver the final blow to the god when the bell rings. Ending the final round. The crowd has already decided who has won the match, but as the judges votes are announced, it is clear that Zeus won (by a hair)…(I think Mount Olympus may have paid off the judges) but no one cares about the Judges choice, the reporters flood pass Tak and Zeus to Atom, Max and Charlie. The people have spoken, Atom gets the title of “The People’s Champion” and that is good enough for Max.

 

Can I just say, I was extremely hesitant to go to this movie originally, but the story, the graphics, the music, it ended up being a great movie. Regardless of if you have kids or not, this movie is worth seeing. I seriously clapped in the theater (admittedly I may have been the only one, but I clapped…everyone else was just lame). This movie moved me and I really truly enjoyed it. If you haven’t seen it, it is worth seeing go watch it, rent it, whatever, but definitely check it out.