Superman Returns

um...what can I say about this movie. Well I guess I should start off by saying I am not the biggest fan of "The man of steel". To be honest he is my least favorite super hero. I was a bigger fan of Batman any day. I guess because Batman was just a regular guy (although very wealthy) who chose to fight evil even though he was a mortal and could be killed by a bullet.

Anyway, so I had never seen Superman Returns before, and I don't think I really missed out on much. To be honest, this movie was extremely slow, seriously! The amount of action in this movie was about as much action as in a romance movie.


So in this movie Superman Returns after leaving Earth for 5 years because he had gone to see if anything remained of his home planet. Completely understandable right, heck, if you were the last of your kind, you would try to find more to right?! Well anyway he comes back to find that Lois is hooked up with some dude and has a kid (not that the kid is superman’s...so ironically he is not alone...haha). Anyway, Lex has escaped a life imprisonment and is trying to figure out yet another way to take over the world and destroy Superman. Ummm...good original plot there right. So I am sure that everyone has see the movie so I don’t mind saying that Lex steals the crystals from Superman’s fortress and mixes it with Kryptonite that he sold from the museum and creates a whole new country. Lois being the good reporter manages to get herself and her son kidnapped by Lex and on his boat when he creates this new country. This
is when Lois really realizes that her baby boy isn’t her fiancés but Superman’s. Lois sends out a SOS (Fax...yes fax..strange way to chose to get a hold of someone. I have to fax stuff at work and that crap takes FOREVER to go through and it is slow and doesn’t always go...not the best way to call out for help). Her fiancé get the fax (cuz she sent it to the daily planet) and he goes out in his boat/plane (I don’t know what those things are called) to save her and who he thinks is his son. Superman also gets the SOS, since he is Clark and sanding right there. So superman goes to destroy the country and save the girl, only to find out that it is made of Kryptonite and he is powerless. So he gets his ass kicked by some old out of shape guy (After years of fighting crime, did Superman not figure out some basic defensive moves? Maybe how to fight a little bit??) . After getting his ass kicked and standing up about as much as an old lady with an oxygen tank, Lex dumps him in the water where it looks like he is a goner. Thankfully Lex (being the smart evil villain) had told Lois his whole plan so she goes back and rescues Superman. Superman takes a trip up into the sunlight and goes back and instead of fighting Lex head-on, he takes the whole country up and disposes of it. HAHA. But doing this with a country of Krypton made him weak and so he dies, but really can you kill the man of steel. I think not. How silly can people really be. So happy ending, Superman knows he has a son, Superman didn’t die and everyone lives happily ever after.


So I just have a few questions. Really is no one in the entire world able to figure out that if you take the glasses, just the glasses off of Clark you get superman and they are the same person? And did no one at Clark’s job realize that every time superman is around Clark isn’t and vice versa, funny how 5 yrs Clark and superman are both gone and then the day after Clark comes back superman does to. That is a little amazing if I may say so. Not everyone is a genius, but you are telling me that not a single person could figure it out.

And as I mentioned, I am not into Superman as much as the other superheroes out there, so I do not know the answer to this, but how come Superman’s outfit never gets messed up? Every other superheroes costume gets messed up when they play with fire and bullets and crime while saving the world. WE all saw Spiderman’s suite at the end of that movie, TORE UP! Also, how does Superman fit that cape underneath his cloths? That cap is not small, I mean, I get how he can fit his spandex outfit underneath a shirt and pants, but the cap that would be a little bulky. AND how does he go to the bathroom etc with that spandex outfit on underneath his cloths. Also does he have more than one? Because I bet it gets dirty.

I liked the other superman movies A LOT better. I should not have wasted the 2 hrs watching this one, but I guess after 3 years, I should have seen it. It is not like I hate superman, he is just not my favorite.