The List of Zombie Rules

Everyone knows, I LOVE Zombies!

There are few things in life that I am actually freaked out by. 1. Clowns scare the living pants off me; I think there is something twisted about people (I usually think of men) who want to dress up as clowns and spend the day around small children (can we say pedophiles) 2. Zombies. Admittedly, zombies are not real, but something about the living dead slowly coming after you, never stopping, never tiring, just on and on until they collapse upon you and eat you alive, either disembodying you or turning you into something like them. Yah, that kind of freaks me out.

I guess you can say I am one of the few that would rather be caught prepared instead of caught dead, so me and my two very best friends (who both also dig the zombie thing and don’t find me completely crazy for my thoughts that one day some mad scientist may create something LIKE a zombie) got together and figured, we need to make a list of Rules. NOT just a list of 10, because when it comes down to surviving not only a zombie outbreak, but an apocalypse where you could really be the LMO (Last Man On Earth) you need more than 10 simple rules that will help you survive. My friends and I came up with 50! You may think that 50 is a little much, but take what you want from it.


As for me, I plan on being an LMO. I don’t want to be caught dead, I want to stay alive and for me, this list is really gonna be the best way to do it!

1. DON’T PANIC!!
2. Always be aware of the symptoms
3. Know your facts!
4. Check all newcomers for bite marks – KILL ON SITE if they have them!!!
5. Stay Alert
6. Only the strong survive – fuck finding love ones
7. Head for the hills…GET OUT of the CITY
8. Aim for the head (DUH!)
9. Have a safe house
10. Don’t open your door (even if she/he is hot)
11. Pick up the weapons (leave grandma)
12. Stay in Shape - CARDIO
13. Limber up - cramps aren’t conducive to your health
14. Chose your weapons wisely (don’t get stupid)
15. Sanitation
16. Use the extra bullet (Double Tap)
17. Always where your seat belt
18. Check the back seat
19. Travel light
20. Don’t wait until the Apocalypse to prepare…do it now
21. Know how to hot wire a car
22. Keep extra gas in the back
23. Always clear a room (you never know what is lurking in the corners)
24. Don’t live on the first floor
25. Pillaging for weapons and food are great, but you can’t use the big screen, leave it
26. Beware of glass windows
27. Know where the exits are
28. Hit the gun range
29. Know who has your back – make a pack
30. Always have a lookout
31. Stock up on ammo
32. Keep a baseball bat by your bed
33. Know where the crowbar is
34. Get to a bar!!!!
35. Keep the lights off
36. Stay silent
37. Be Tough – It’s about Survival
38. Always wear appropriate clothes (and shoes)
39. Beware of enclosed spaces – BATHROOMS!!!
40. Keep extra TP in your back pocket
41. Don’t poke a downed zombie
42. Beware of clowns :-)
43. Keep a bike on standby (gas doesn’t last forever)
44. Alcohol is a great escape, unless you need to escape
45. Stash supplies (water, medical, etc)
46. Watch for the assholes (zombies aren’t the only one out to get you)
47. Don't be a fool... dead zombies aren't food
48. Keep it simple (Stupid)
49. Stay Alive (It’s the damn APOCALYPSE)
50. Kill as many ZOMBIES as you can!

While on my perusal of zombie stuff (I am sad, I Google “Zombies” at least a few times a week) I came across a really good zombie quiz. It seemed like something I would have come up with, had I been smart enough to figure out how. This quiz is scary accurate, and will make you quickly stop and wonder as to if you would be an LMO or not!
Do you think you would survive the Zombie Apocalypse? Take the quiz and see: http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/zombie